{"id":117,"date":"2004-01-30T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2004-01-30T07:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/blog\/?p=117"},"modified":"2004-01-30T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2004-01-30T07:00:00","slug":"117","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/?p=117","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

i’m tired, kids. i’m tired of keeping secrets. it always made me sad how i feel like no one knows me, that no one really tries to get to know me. but is it because other people aren’t trying, or because i’ve made such grand efforts to hide myself? i have no idea. but i’m tired of hiding all this shit. i’m so sorry for the things i’ve done. i’m so sorry for the people i’ve hurt. and mostly, i’m so sorry for the way i’ve treated myself, and the crazy self-punishments i’ve enforced.<\/p>\n

i’ll tell you about a vision i had:<\/p>\n

they came to take away the body
and everything in there was lush green
except for this one shadow that slashed across
the right side of the room
driving a wedge through everything it was
and everything it thought it could be
and no one ever reached out a hand to touch it
to verify if it was even really there<\/p>\n

i’ve seen a lot of ghosts
(we all have, haven’t we?)<\/p>\n

and i’ve played every single one of them.<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

i’m tired, kids. i’m tired of keeping secrets. it always made me sad how i feel like no one knows me, that no one really tries to get to know me. but is it because other people aren’t trying, or because i’ve made such grand efforts to hide myself? i have no idea. but i’m […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-117","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/sbl5mn-117","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/117","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=117"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/117\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=117"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=117"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=117"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}