{"id":1687,"date":"2008-09-30T07:47:00","date_gmt":"2008-09-30T14:47:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/blog\/?p=1687"},"modified":"2008-09-30T07:47:00","modified_gmt":"2008-09-30T14:47:00","slug":"1687","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/?p=1687","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

i was supposed to have flown back today and i’m still here. good decision or bad decision? in a way, i need contact with my old life, with friends and loved ones so i can gain perspective on this period of my life whose purpose was to allow me to gain perspective on my old life. now i need the enlightened old to triangulate a perspective on the “new,” this place where i’ve come for better or for worse. i have definitely seen the shadow, coming face to face with it, tasted it, heard it, felt it, believed it. and now i need to know to what extent it is still working, to propel me to understanding through polarity, or by pushing me towards my own self-destruction.<\/p>\n

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i’m so deep in the well, so deep in the murky water that i no longer know which way is up. while it’s not a problem in terms of drowning since this whole thing started because i learned how to breathe underwater in my dreamscape and thus, be able to breathe in the face of emotional\/existential crisis, i don’t want to lose my bearings. i don’t want to stay in this water forever.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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i want to be careful that i’m not fucking myself over by going too deeply in the wrong direction.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

i was supposed to have flown back today and i’m still here. good decision or bad decision? in a way, i need contact with my old life, with friends and loved ones so i can gain perspective on this period of my life whose purpose was to allow me to gain perspective on my old […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1687","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/sbl5mn-1687","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1687","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1687"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1687\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1687"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1687"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1687"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}