{"id":169,"date":"2004-02-26T12:01:00","date_gmt":"2004-02-26T19:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/blog\/?p=169"},"modified":"2004-02-26T12:01:00","modified_gmt":"2004-02-26T19:01:00","slug":"169","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/?p=169","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

My baby brother, Michael, likes teddy bears. And so in an effort to teach him social skills, my mom names his bears things like Manners Bear, and Soft-Spoken Bear, and Patience Bear in hopes that they will “teach” him these attributes.<\/p>\n

So I thought of some other bears that might be good teaching models for him:<\/p>\n

Don’t Take Candy From Naked Strangers Bear
Hide The Kitchen Knives When Daddy’s Been Drinking Bear
Don’t Touch The Dog Like That Bear
Don’t Pick Your Nose At The Dinner Table Bear
Touching Yourself In Public Is A Sin Bear
Be Nice to Grandpa Because He Can Still Change His Will Bear
Help Your Big Sister Find A Rich Boyfriend Bear
You Don’t Need To Know About Sex So Stop Asking About It Bear
Stop Looking At The Naked Men In The Gym Locker Room Bear
Be Kind And Rewind The Porn Tape Bear
Hands Off People’s Bottoms Bear
Mommy and Daddy Don’t Love Each Other Anymore So Stop Crying Bear
Stop Asking “What’s That Smell” Bear
Where On The Bear Did The Bad Man Touch You Bear
Shitting In The Middle Of The Living Room Is Not Okay Bear
Sometimes Men Like To Hug Other Men Instead Of Women And That’s Okay Bear
One Drunken Incident In College Does Not Make Your Sister Gay Bear
Handcuffs Are Not Toys Bear
Don’t Scratch Yourself When You’re Being Baptized In Front Of The Whole Church Bear
Tongues Don’t Go There Bear
Boys Pee Standing Up Bear
Don’t Drop The Soap In The Shower Bear
Being A Male Prostitute For One Week To Pay Some Bills That You Blew On Coke Booze And Gambling Is Okay Bear <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My baby brother, Michael, likes teddy bears. And so in an effort to teach him social skills, my mom names his bears things like Manners Bear, and Soft-Spoken Bear, and Patience Bear in hopes that they will “teach” him these attributes. So I thought of some other bears that might be good teaching models for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[],"tags":[12,16],"class_list":["post-169","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-humor","tag-michael"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/sbl5mn-169","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/169","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=169"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/169\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=169"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=169"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=169"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}