the train whistles here aren’t as romantic as the train whistles at home, but they’re good enough while i’m working. sometimes when i hear them, i get so happy, i curl up on the floor, laughing. i can’t believe i’m here.<\/p>\n
i like my place. it’s private. there’s a sacred solitude. only michael has been here (he helped me build it), and the cable guy. when i imagined it, i always said it was a place no one knew about, the place where i go when i disappear. it reminds me of somewhere else i’ve been and loved, somewhere just a breath outside my periphery, maybe here on earth, maybe in a distant memory. that’s why i just won’t give out my phone number here. this place is for me.<\/p>\n
all i have is an air mattress that kind of feels like a waterbed, which reminded me of a curious time in my childhood when i slept in a waterbed. ah, how our early experiences shape our eyes. i kind of like it. i contemplated the poetry of just making this the arrangement, sleeping on an air mattress that i have to keep inflated with my own breath, with the only other real piece of furniture being the chair i sit in when i stare out at the ocean.<\/p>\n
this makes me want to run a social experiment of what would happen if i only interact with the world at night and responsible julia says, “nooooo.”<\/p>\n
so many decisions to make! i really like my pace of life right now. today i ate 2 sandwiches for lunch, met a tour group of women all outfitted from head to toe to hair in hot pink, played the only video game i have for 6 hours (nba live09–finally got a chance to break it out). did a fantasy draft and got rashard lewis, al jefferson, andris biedrins, chris paul, mike conley jr., nick young and anthony randolph for my golden state warriors. went undefeated for the first 5 games. it was like a warriors fan’s dream, to take control of our beloved team and steer them into victory. i love my basketball team the way i love a little brother with a disability who has a heart of gold. it felt good to imagine an inspirational, happy world for something i love, even if only in a video game.<\/p>\n
my mom called. everyone was in a good mood. i almost told her about what i’d been doing, but felt tired at the thought of trying to explain to her why i was happy. our whole family loves the warriors. i’m convinced that this past april, when jamal crawford pushed through the crowd after our last home game to give my dad a hug and thank him, that was a miracle to give him a push towards living.<\/p>\n
light changes time to color.<\/p>\n
we are all the same
and sometimes we are different<\/p>\n
i don’t want anyone who will clip my wings.
i want someone who can fly.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
the train whistles here aren’t as romantic as the train whistles at home, but they’re good enough while i’m working. sometimes when i hear them, i get so happy, i curl up on the floor, laughing. i can’t believe i’m here. i like my place. it’s private. there’s a sacred solitude. only michael has been […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2190","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/sbl5mn-2190","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2190","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2190"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2190\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2190"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2190"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2190"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}