first of all, i sucked today. went 2 for 7 and missed the shots i should have made. it was all psychological. every time i was open and took the shot, i would have a sudden worry that my teammates think i’m selfish for not passing, even though i started the game with 2 assists. i’m my own worst enemy. i have this specific issue about people thinking i’m selfish, and sometimes, it takes me away from me at my best. at least i had 4 blocks, which made up for it. i love blocking shots. and the refs love me. me and the bruthas. they love witty, athletic girls. but i was really irritated with my play overall. we lost by two in the final seconds. if i had made at least two of those shots…<\/p>\n
i think this is why i don’t play organized sports. it ends up consuming me. and then i go so far out into intensity that i end up sacrificing my body and getting hurt. this was always a problem. my intensity would be fine if i were playing college or pro, but there’s no point in putting myself at risk when it’s purely recreational. after the game, i was thinking about how i could improve, and went to the gym directly from the game to work on conditioning. i take sports seriously as though i’m trying to go pro, when really, i just want to keep improving. i want to be really good. i get so down after a mediocre or bad game. but this isn’t going anywhere. so what’s the point of me being so obsessive about it? but it’s like i can’t stop myself. anything i put my mind on, i get so passionate.<\/p>\n
and now another night where i can’t sleep. this is torture.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
first of all, i sucked today. went 2 for 7 and missed the shots i should have made. it was all psychological. every time i was open and took the shot, i would have a sudden worry that my teammates think i’m selfish for not passing, even though i started the game with 2 assists. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2611","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/sbl5mn-2611","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2611","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2611"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2611\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2611"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2611"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2611"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}