genre: comedy
location: pawn shop
object: bulletproof vest<\/p>\n
A Lesson Before Dying<\/strong><\/p>\n EXT. CITY STREET – NIGHT<\/p>\n Police cars and SWAT vans haphazardly parked in the middle of INT. MAURY\u2019S PAWN SHOP – NIGHT<\/p>\n INSERT TITLE: ONE HOUR EARLIER<\/p>\n The bells above the door jingle as a haggard-looking MAN MAURY MAN INT. MANAGER\u2019S OFFICE\/QUICKIE CAR WASH – DAY<\/p>\n INSERT TITLE: ONE DAY EARLIER<\/p>\n The phone on a cluttered desk rings incessantly. A flustered TOM INT. MINIVAN – DAY<\/p>\n The woman on the phone is CAROL, Tom\u2019s frazzled wife. She\u2019s CROSSCUT between Tom and Carol.<\/p>\n CAROL TOM CAROL TOM CAROL A shoe comes flying from the back, hitting her on the head.<\/p>\n CAROL They each point to each other.<\/p>\n TOM CAROL TOM Another shoe bounces off the windshield followed by giggles.<\/p>\n CAROL EXT. RESIDENTIAL STREET – DAY<\/p>\n Carol is struggling to forcibly pull the boys out of the CAROL She slides the door closed, gets in the driver\u2019s seat and Half a block away hidden in the bushes, a MOTORCYCLE COP EXT. QUICKIE CAR WASH – DAY<\/p>\n Tom is drying off a black Mercedes as the OWNER points out FEMALE EMPLOYEE TOM FEMALE EMPLOYEE Tom looks up as the customer eyes him, totally judging.<\/p>\n INT. BAIL BONDS OFFICE – NIGHT<\/p>\n A blubbery bondsman with a combover reviews the paperwork.<\/p>\n BONDSMAN TOM BONDSMAN INT. MAURY\u2019S PAWN SHOP – DAY<\/p>\n The bells above the door jingle and Tom enters with a TOM Maury looks him over kindly, a man who\u2019s heard it all.<\/p>\n MAURY INT. VISITING ROOM\/JAIL – DAY<\/p>\n Tom sits at a table as Carol, wearing an orange prison CAROL TOM CAROL TOM CAROL TOM CAROL TOM CAROL TOM CAROL TOM Carol looks at him like she could kill him. Instead, she CAROL Tom is terrorized. Every married man knows what this means.<\/p>\n INT. MAURY\u2019S PAWN SHOP – NIGHT<\/p>\n Same scene as earlier–Tom, looking haggard, walks in.<\/p>\n MAURY TOM MAURY TOM Maury takes out a small snub-nosed revolver and puts it on MAURY TOM genre: comedylocation: pawn shopobject: bulletproof vest A Lesson Before Dying EXT. CITY STREET – NIGHT Police cars and SWAT vans haphazardly parked in the middle ofthe street, a crowd of gawkers held back by yellow tape.Policemen evacuate stores as SWAT members in full gear–helmets,bulletproof vests, automatic rifles–move intoposition. The center of attention appears to be […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[],"tags":[10],"class_list":["post-2678","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-fiction"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/sbl5mn-2678","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2678","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2678"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2678\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2678"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2678"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2678"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
the street, a crowd of gawkers held back by yellow tape.
Policemen evacuate stores as SWAT members in full gear–helmets,
bulletproof vests, automatic rifles–move into
position. The center of attention appears to be MAURY\u2019S PAWN
SHOP, a tiny glass-front affair sandwiched between an A-OK
BAIL BONDS and a LAUNDROMAT.<\/p>\n
steps through the door. Old man MAURY is behind the counter.<\/p>\n
Back so soon, Mr. Tolberg? How\u2019s
your wife?<\/p>\n
I\u2019d like to see your guns…<\/p>\n
middle-aged man with his arms full of dirty rags bursts
though the door, lunging towards the phone. This is the same
guy from the pawn shop–TOM TOLBERG.<\/p>\n
Quickie Car Wash, manager speaking.<\/p>\n
driving and talking on the phone while two 7 year-old
identical twins battle each other noisily in the backseat.<\/p>\n
Your sons\u2019 principal called to say
they\u2019ve been suspended for putting
a \u201ckick me\u201d sign on a classmate.
(to kids)
Stop hitting your brother, Eric! A
stapler is not a toy!<\/p>\n
Sounds harsh for just a prank.<\/p>\n
They attached the sign with a tack.<\/p>\n
Oh.<\/p>\n
They\u2019re terrorists, Tom. Devil
spawn.
(to kids)
Do you want me to turn this car
around? Because I will. I\u2019ll turn
this car around and drop you two
right off a cliff you don\u2019t start
behaving.<\/p>\n
WHO THREW THAT SHOE?<\/p>\n
Calm down, Carol. They just need a
lesson in respecting authority.
Kick \u2018em out of the car and tell
them to walk home. Pick them up in
half an hour. That should scare
some sense into them.<\/p>\n
No way. That\u2019s abusive.<\/p>\n
It worked on me. A kid only has to
walk 6 miles home in a blizzard
once to know where the line is.<\/p>\n
Fine. But anything goes wrong, I\u2019m
holding you responsible.<\/p>\n
minivan.<\/p>\n
This is for your own good.
Having…parents…is a privilege.<\/p>\n
takes off, the boys running behind the car, wailing.<\/p>\n
watches, arms crossed. He\u2019s quite unamused.<\/p>\n
spots he\u2019s missed. A FEMALE EMPLOYEE hurries up.<\/p>\n
Tom, your wife\u2019s on the phone.<\/p>\n
Tell her I\u2019ll call her back.<\/p>\n
She says she\u2019s calling from…jail.<\/em><\/p>\n
Reckless endangerment of minors.
Problem is, she pulled a new judge
who wants to make an example of
her. Bail\u2019s set at $20,000. I\u2019ll
get her out for 10%.<\/p>\n
We\u2019re barely scraping by! I don\u2019t
have that kind of money.<\/p>\n
As they say in my trade, be in jail
til dawn or you\u2019ve got to pawn.<\/p>\n
cardboard box, placing it on the counter in front of Maury.<\/p>\n
I need $2000 or my wife\u2019s gonna
kill me.<\/p>\n
Cup of tea?<\/p>\n
jumpsuit, is led into the room by a GUARD. Her hair is in
thuggish cornrows and she’s got FISH written across her
forehead in lipstick.<\/p>\n
(brink of tears)
You need to get me out of here. I\u2019m
not strong enough for this.<\/p>\n
Bail is being processed and they
said you should be out by tonight.<\/p>\n
Oh thank God!<\/p>\n
But you should probably know, I had
to pawn some things.<\/p>\n
What things?<\/p>\n
Like…the good china.<\/p>\n
Okay.<\/p>\n
Some jewelry. Actually, all of it.<\/p>\n
What else?<\/p>\n
Um…your Coach purses, laptop,
breadmaker, and that ugly
collection of porcelain clowns you
never liked anyway.<\/p>\n
You mean that antique collection of
porcelain collectibles my dead
mother left me that you <\/em>never
liked? Didn\u2019t you pawn any of your
own stuff?<\/p>\n
Sure…uh, my wedding band.<\/p>\n
gives him a terrifyingly cold smile, pats him on the hand.<\/p>\n
We\u2019ll talk about this when I get
home.<\/p>\n
Back so soon, Mr. Tolberg? How\u2019s
your wife?<\/p>\n
I\u2019d like to see your guns…<\/p>\n
Oh? Anything in particular?<\/p>\n
Doesn\u2019t matter.<\/p>\n
the counter. Tom immediately picks it up and points it at
Maury.<\/p>\n
Mr. Tolberg, it\u2019s not even loaded.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m really sorry about this but
please…call the police and tell
them you\u2019re being held up. My wife
is angrier than I\u2019ve ever seen her
and I\u2019m too scared to go home. I\u2019m
just hoping that maybe in 10 to 12
years, she\u2019ll have cooled off by
then.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"