zero 7 concert tonight. really missed sia, who’s not on this tour.<\/p>\n
went to amber to people watch and think about the story. met a dave, charles, seth, john–a line of guys who just kept taking the spot next to me, trying some angle with me. i was polite but kind of irritated because they would assume i was “bored” and could use some “company,” and i would tell them that this is my regular neighborhood spot and i’m actually working right now, thinking out a story. it was kind of irritating, but it’s what happens when you think better in crowded places and you’re in a bar (i wish they had late night cafes open around here, but most late-night food places are all bars). some guy came up just to cuss me out, mumbling how much he didn’t want me. i kept asking him to repeat what he said and he would say “nevermind,” but just get angrier at me, an angry little asian robot.<\/p>\n
end of the night, the bartender who had periodically come by to chat and comment that i’m very popular, asked for my phone number, and i wouldn’t give it to him. so he told the little angry asian robot that i needed a walk home. i wrote “muthafucker” on a piece of paper and gave it to him as my phone number. the guy was wearing a wedding band. i told him i don’t mess around with married guys, yet he says he wears it because he gets more tips even though he’s not really married.<\/p>\n
actually, in la, the bartenders DON’T wear their wedding bands to get better tips.<\/p>\n
lies. all around. men lying to get my attention. and all i’m looking for is some truth. a home. someone whose arms i can fall asleep in. or at the very least, tonight, a good story to write about.<\/p>\n
i think it’s because i wore red today. that was the issue. and it was like a break in the dam that wouldn’t stop flowing. i’d been avoiding wearing red in seattle, joking to myself that the men of seattle can’t handle me wearing red. but i wanted the red today to aid my creativity.<\/p>\n
and so that was the course for the night–men, women–as soon as i got rid of one, another one would sidle up. even when i was talking to the bartender, telling him i only have room for 1 in my entourage, and unless he can fit into snake eyes’ outfit and be willing to die for me, i’m closed–these guys were filing by and touching my back, one by one.<\/p>\n
more of your fans, the bartender said.<\/p>\n
flattering, okay. but not the way i want it to be. i’m ready for next level shit. not idiots spitting game, acting like i’m a creature from some other place.<\/p>\n
tonight felt like one of those throwaway nights. mildly irritating. i think i would have felt better about it and more celebratory if i knew what i’m going to write about.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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