{"id":444,"date":"2004-08-30T23:34:00","date_gmt":"2004-08-31T06:34:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/blog\/?p=444"},"modified":"2004-08-30T23:34:00","modified_gmt":"2004-08-31T06:34:00","slug":"444","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/?p=444","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

Queer Eye for the Straight Girl<\/strong>
<\/strong>
Brian is rabid about getting me on this show. His evidence:<\/p>\n

“We have a Teletubby sitting in a baby rocking chair that she pulled out of the garbage bin and a TURTLE in the dining room, and an elliptical machine with a sequined cowboy hat hanging on it in the bedroom.”<\/p>\n

We have to tell them about a big event that’s coming up so Brian offered:<\/p>\n

“You had that big thing* where you ‘pretended’ you were coming out. We should just say you’re coming out. Colin would be happy to email them and tell them that you’re a lesbian, with the fleece vest to prove it.”<\/p>\n

[*our friend Andrea surprised us with a visit from New York, so I told everyone I had a very serious announcement to make, and they had to be at my house at a certain time, in order for her to walk in and surprise them. Colin had bet money that I was coming out because, “lesbians love drama.”]<\/p>\n

Brian’s requests of the show:<\/p>\n

“Bring equine tranquilizers or somethin’ cuz this bitch ain’t gonna let you throw out her stuff without a fight. And can you figure out a way to keep her pants up? Get her butt implants or SOMETHING.”<\/p>\n

On one hand, I would love the makeover they do to your place. I’ve been saving up money to redo the lighting design in my condo (Brian: “the lighting is SURGICAL”). On the other hand, I don’t want to be the butt of a reality tv joke. And I don’t want them going through my underwear drawer, and other, more private drawers.<\/p>\n

But on the other hand, free stuff.<\/p>\n

But on the other hand, they throw out my random, eccentric stuff.<\/p>\n

But on the other hand, free stuff.<\/p>\n

How spoiled are we when our biggest quandary in life is whether or not to apply for a reality show?<\/p>\n

Fucking Americans. <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Queer Eye for the Straight GirlBrian is rabid about getting me on this show. His evidence: “We have a Teletubby sitting in a baby rocking chair that she pulled out of the garbage bin and a TURTLE in the dining room, and an elliptical machine with a sequined cowboy hat hanging on it in the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[],"tags":[12],"class_list":["post-444","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/sbl5mn-444","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/444","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=444"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/444\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=444"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=444"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=444"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}