You reject me when I’m a caterpillar but when I’m a butterfly, all you want to do is catch me. Did you ever think, with true nectar sweet, I would always come back on terms we could both agree?<\/p>\n
Sweet Andrew, 23 years old and drunk off his ass, calls me on my brother’s phone asking me to come out and play poker at 1 in the morning despite having just dropped me off at home from my birthday party (a much more responsible Sean was driving). I tell him he can’t handle me and to call me when he’s 29 and got his shit together. But you’re gonna be like 39, he said. <\/p>\n
You’ve seen my mom so you know I’m still gonna be hot then, I said. Plus, I’m gonna be on TV by then. You just get your shit together.<\/p>\n
It’s done, he said. I’m gonna get my shit together in a couple of weeks, and then we’re gonna talk.<\/p>\n
Talk to you when you’re 29, I said.<\/p>\n
Brian messaged me to see how the party went. I told him that I didn’t make out with anyone, despite Michael having invited all his 20-something year-old trainer friends. New era, I wrote him. We are now pillars of maturity. <\/p>\n
I’m looking for someone who’s 29-36. I would bend for an outstanding 27 or 28 year old but it will be at least a 2 year relationship before I know what’s up, but I don’t know if I want to spend 2 years locked down in a relationship waiting to see if someone’s ready to even be in a relationship. I would rather do what I need to do, and only notice guys who already have their shit together. Then we can spend our time seeing what’s between us and developing it, rather than trying to get them man enough to be in a relationship in the first place.<\/p>\n
The cute waiter was off but at the restaurant yesterday, meeting a friend to go see a movie. I’m pretty sure he was trying to talk to me and trying to bring up that he wanted to hang out before I leave town (and it turns out that he knows one of my cousins), but I kept running off. I don’t know. I can’t deal with these young guys anymore. I run too many circles around them. I really need someone who is ready. He’s always our waiter every time we go to that restaurant, and he’s always talking to me about cameras because he’s a photographer. Once he even chased me out of the restaurant and everyone’s thinking either I forgot my coat or he’s going to ask me out. But he just talks to me about more camera stuff. So this morning I told my mom how he was there and he gave me his phone number and wanted to hang out. And about Andrew’s late night call, telling me to give him a couple of weeks and he would be ready for me.<\/p>\n
It’s like you’ve stunned these small town boys, she said. You’re the brightest thing they’ve ever seen. But they can’t keep up with you. <\/p>\n
I know, I said. I don’t want to be their training wheels, making them better for someone else.<\/p>\n
Don’t, she said. Don’t waste the pretty.<\/p>\n
Seriously. Boys are sweet, and I’m a tough but fair leader. But in terms of a partner, I don’t have time to spare on them anymore.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
You reject me when I’m a caterpillar but when I’m a butterfly, all you want to do is catch me. Did you ever think, with true nectar sweet, I would always come back on terms we could both agree? Sweet Andrew, 23 years old and drunk off his ass, calls me on my brother’s phone […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5893","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/sbl5mn-5893","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5893","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5893"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5893\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5894,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5893\/revisions\/5894"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5893"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5893"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5893"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}