{"id":8112,"date":"2012-07-23T22:58:26","date_gmt":"2012-07-24T05:58:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/?p=8112"},"modified":"2012-07-24T08:57:53","modified_gmt":"2012-07-24T15:57:53","slug":"8112","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/?p=8112","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Mercury retrograde banished my 29. Damn. I don&#8217;t know how to use WordPress. Need help.<\/p>\n<p>Okay, so the last few weeks. Venus is making a move out of my 5th house. Supposedly means I&#8217;m about to meet my partner. Definitely feel my social life picking up. But the last few weeks, dreams send me warnings.<\/p>\n<p>Dated this guy from SF. Seems nice. Seemed pretty promising. Sagittarius. My soul said tread carefully but I&#8217;m always so optimistic. But a couple of weeks in, we make arrangements to hang out at my place in San Jose, and something in me started feeling anxious. First I have this dream at the beginning of the week where I visit Aubrey in Amsterdam with this guy, and he looks at me with that knowing look of his. Then he pulls me aside and it&#8217;s hard for him to get it out but it&#8217;s like he has to tell me&#8230;he finally says, &#8220;Julia, I just don&#8217;t understand why you keep wasting your time with these guys who aren&#8217;t your guy.&#8221; It was shocking, the straightforward honesty, and even when I woke up, it affected me. I started to feel my feelings towards this guy changing, my mind scrutinizing because of the dream. Even after I told Aubrey and he said that you can&#8217;t really tell from a dream and to give the guy a chance, I still didn&#8217;t feel right. I changed the date plans to meeting with him and some coworkers at a bar instead of a night in. A night in means potentially stuff happening and I didn&#8217;t want that. Plus, it would have been our 4th date and before every date I would tell him not to try anything, including jokingly asking him not to date rape me, and every date he would try to push it.<\/p>\n<p>So after that night when we hung out at the bar, I knew I was over it. Can&#8217;t change people, just decide what you&#8217;re comfortable with and if they fit or not. He wasn&#8217;t my guy. But he was pushing, and so I gave him what he wanted. Except as the song goes, &#8220;When I get&#8230;what I want&#8230;then I never want it again.&#8221; Don&#8217;t push me or I&#8217;ll give you enough rope to hang yourself. I hate guys who disrespect me.<\/p>\n<p>I ended it the next day, told him that may be the last time he ever sees me. I was angry. Not again. Not again. Why do these guys push. Why can&#8217;t they show they give a shit about me and what I want?<\/p>\n<p>The next day, I was feeling down so I came home at lunch and took a nap. I had a dream where I walked in on the SF guy having sex with this girl. But when he saw me he was really happy and wanted to have sex with me instead. When I woke up, I took the dream to mean that if I was available, he preferred to sleep with me, but if I wasn&#8217;t, he wasn&#8217;t sitting around twiddling his thumbs. For the next few days, every time I thought of him, I felt RAGE.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mercury retrograde banished my 29. Damn. I don&#8217;t know how to use WordPress. Need help. Okay, so the last few weeks. Venus is making a move out of my 5th house. Supposedly means I&#8217;m about to meet my partner. Definitely feel my social life picking up. But the last few weeks, dreams send me warnings. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8112","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/sbl5mn-8112","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8112","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8112"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8112\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8117,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8112\/revisions\/8117"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8112"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8112"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8112"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}