Married realtor writes me saying, 11 lbs of Nutella, a giant cucumber, you need a man.<\/p>\n
I tell him I’m born in Texas. I like things big.<\/p>\n
He tells me he thinks the picture of me kissing the tub of Nutella while I flex is really hot.<\/p>\n
I tell him I’m disappointed that the tub’s shadow blocks the view of my well-defined bicep.<\/p>\n
PS, I add, that’s enough, married man.<\/p>\n
He says he was just paying me a compliment, not flirting, and that I think very highly of myself. In hindsight, the right line is…would you respect me otherwise? But I bend a little (intimidation) and instead I say, I’m part Leo.<\/p>\n
He says he has to be careful being nice to me or I might take it the wrong way. <\/p>\n
I tell him, being nice to me is the only way into my castle, inside a moat, inside a maze, inside an enigma.<\/p>\n
I don’t know what that means but I like it, he says.<\/p>\n
Just like he doesn’t know what I mean, but he likes me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Married realtor writes me saying, 11 lbs of Nutella, a giant cucumber, you need a man. I tell him I’m born in Texas. I like things big. He tells me he thinks the picture of me kissing the tub of Nutella while I flex is really hot. I tell him I’m disappointed that the tub’s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8217","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/sbl5mn-8217","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8217","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8217"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8217\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8217"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8217"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8217"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}