I feel like every time things get good and he acts strange. A little more combative, a little more subversive, makes deflective jokes and I don’t know why. And then he puts it on me. Maybe he just doesn’t have a good handle on his own feelings but it affects me, and I don’t like it when he puts it on me when I react. What’s the alternative? Not react? Not communicate? It makes me resent communicating when meanwhile he’s not communicating. It feels one way. Like one hand clapping. It feels futile. Then when I stop communicating because I feel like I’m way out there by myself, we have a problem. The script gets flipped, it makes me feel like I’m in a vulnerable place alone, and then it’s my problem.\u00a0 He asks me not to test the relationship but he doesn’t see he tests it, too.\u00a0 I’m really sad today. I think what I really need is something stable and consistent. Then again, I know that. I’ve been saying that all along, haven’t I?<\/p>\n
I’m tired of things. I’m tired of silence. I would rather have silence for a reason, than a person next to me who makes me feel lonely.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I feel like every time things get good and he acts strange. A little more combative, a little more subversive, makes deflective jokes and I don’t know why. And then he puts it on me. Maybe he just doesn’t have a good handle on his own feelings but it affects me, and I don’t like […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8631","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/sbl5mn-8631","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8631","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8631"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8631\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8633,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8631\/revisions\/8633"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8631"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8631"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8631"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}