{"id":99,"date":"2004-01-27T23:09:00","date_gmt":"2004-01-28T06:09:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/blog\/?p=99"},"modified":"2004-01-27T23:09:00","modified_gmt":"2004-01-28T06:09:00","slug":"99","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/?p=99","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

Okay, confession. But it’s not about me. It’s about my friend.<\/p>\n

so some mutherfuckin’ ho and i’m not naming any names, wakes up, decides to sleep in an extra five minutes, does her anal-rentative morning ritual that’s timed down to the minute but thinks she’s running five minutes late now so she runs out the door and doesn’t even have time to eat breakfast or verbally abuse the turtle. then she notices that the sky’s a little bluer than usual (thinks, it’ll probably be cold today) that there’s no traffic on the street and that the car clock says 7:24 and its probably because of some electrical problem with the car. then about 4 blocks later, she starts to put it all together…dumbass finally realizes she’s exactly an hour ahead of schedule. so she goes into coffee bean and curls up in a chair like a homeless person and sleeps for 55 minutes. <\/em><\/p>\n

Loser.<\/p>\n

THIS JUST IN: Brian has declared that I’m closet OCD because I time each step of my morning ritual to the minute and know that it takes me 18-22 minutes (but no less than 18) to get ready in the morning if I’m absolutely focused.<\/p>\n

THIS JUST IN: Baby loves her sleep… <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Okay, confession. But it’s not about me. It’s about my friend. so some mutherfuckin’ ho and i’m not naming any names, wakes up, decides to sleep in an extra five minutes, does her anal-rentative morning ritual that’s timed down to the minute but thinks she’s running five minutes late now so she runs out the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-99","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/sbl5mn-99","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=99"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=99"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=99"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juliashih.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=99"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}