Echo

Starbucks. Same place I first met Kenny. Same seat even. And another guy, doing his homework staring and smiling at me.

When I was leaving, he nearly jumped out of his seat. He said hi as I said bye.

This will be my legacy.

I’ll be the one who will break my heart.

I wanna know if you can get as deep physically into me as you can spiritually.

If he told me there was any sliver of a chance truth could save us, I would be there.

The hostess tells me, I really appreciate your baller approach to life.

Who looks sexier right now? That frumpy girl you brought as your date, or the hot, mysterious woman sitting alone behind the velvet rope?

He always texts back. Thats our balance. He’ll never initiated. Just the once, when I was in guam, asking me what I missed most from home.

We both know it. The only way it’s gotten this far is because we’ve never talked about it. But he’ll never shake up his foundation, and he doesnt have to. But all those times he’s said I was mean to guys, he also knows I would be different to him but he won’t do anything about it.

(goddamit).

Leadership.

1. Be tough but fair.
2. Give heart to hearts.
3. Care about their kids.
4. Do something fun and unexpected once in a while.
5. Make them laugh when you can.
6. Feed them.
7. Compliment them.
8. Lead them towards their strengths.
9. Forgive and move on.
10. In the most human moments, let yourself cry in front of them.
11. In the most human moments, let them cry in front of you.
12. Teach them belief by believing in them.
13. Get out of their way when they believe in themselves.
14. Take them as far as you can carry them.
15. When it’s time, let go.

Leadership builds armies. Armies raise leaders.

People think I’m joking when I say I run a ninja school or my business model is based on Fight Club principles.

I’m not.

I’m an architect.

I’m the kind of person who rolls up to her 15th year reunion with a pedobear costume in the trunk.

I need inspiration to want things. I need motivation to go after them.

Rugged…is an interesting trait to have in a woman.

2 years ago, I put my wedding day onto my calendar in my Blackberry, but I donated that phone. All I know is it was in March 2012 (don’t remember the exact day). Now going into the end of 2011, I wonder why I did that. I wonder if there is some alternate universe where my life goes differently, where last August, 2010, I had indeed had the big encounter I had thought I would, and in that alternate parallel universe, I’m getting married in March.

I try not to think that way, but it’s hard not to.

In honor of the office dress code abolishment, I came to work dressed as … “a bear.” And did some planking.

You have to know this to understand me.

My mother had 3 children–me, Amax and my brother. I am the big sister.

I must be really pissed off. I’ve got that edge to me right now. It’s coloring perspective. My color is changing to protective cover.

I’ll take more risks.

I’m not two faced, I’m two sided. Two sides of the same person. Surprising few people are big enough to put that together. I respect those who do.

This guy came to interview. If it was a first date, I would have called a friend in the bathroom and asked her to call in 5 min with an emergency. He made me feel tightly wound inside. He said his strength is relationships. Which shocked me because I found him frankly rude.

We entered the crowded party–over 700 scientists, the world’s brightest and most eccentric.

I turned to my crew.

I’m going to mindfuck them all.

They didn’t even blink.

My sidekick grinned. Then they’ll all be mindfucked, he said.

When he shaves and grows his beard, he is closest to me. When he grows out and stays clean, he’s my buddy.

Birthing advice:

Just don’t eat it when it comes out and you’re good.