No Cowbells For YOU…

Yes!!! Send Chris Webber AWAY.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/columns/story?columnist=smith_sam&id=1856243

I have only one trade scenario to offer:

LA Lakers – Lakers send Vlade. Kings send The Crybaby. Pros: Vlade arrives back in Sac and, “Just kidding,” we find that he was only doing what was best for The Kid (Peja) and the team. In an ingenious plot, Vlade has managed to rid Sac of the Hobbling Ego that will never ever ever carry any team into that Press Conference at the end of the Tunnel. Peja is reunited with his beloved “I Love It When You Call Me” Big Poppa. Fueled by the summer disaster of nearly losing Vlade, he goes on to have a superstar season. Remember last year when he carried the Kings after Bobby J. and CWebb were out? When the Kings played like a team and didn’t have to run things through the Ego down low who could barely make it up and down the court? Yeah. A “team” with Chris Webber is like a “romantic” dinner with a big steaming pile of crap in the middle of the table–it’s disqualified by its very definition. A championship will never happen as long as Webber or anyone else believes he’s going to be the one to deliver the championship. Vlade, Peja, Bobby, Bibby, Miller, Christie, that rookie who looks like Christie and a Webber-less supporting cast means a team without the “Me” and a promising run in the West. Meanwhile, Kobe and Chris Webber, who by heaven and hell absolutely deserve each other, have to share the ball and the locker room. A bidding war ensues and Fox wins the rights to the reality show that follows Chris and Kobe as they learn that there is life on earth beyond themselves. The following season, Fox brilliantly joins the forces of Chris and Kobe with that of Paris and Nicole, sending them off on an iceberg to Antarctica. No cameras, no show. Just a gift to the rest of humankind. Cons: What cons?!? In my head, this trade is already done.

Peja is demanding a trade: http://msn.foxsports.com/story/2643502

Obviously, the kid misses Vlade.

So I just about salivated over the thought of one of my favorite players, the best pure shooter in the NBA, going to a team with a quality big guy.

Here are my scenarios:

1. Miami – Miami sends Eddie Jones, Dorell Wright and a 1st rd draft pick. Pros: Can you imagine that team? You’ve got the big guy with the inside game (Shaq), the Kamikaze who can pass or penetrate (Wade) and the pure shooter (Peja). This team will FUCK. YOU. UP. Sac gets another pure shooter. Dorell is a project, but he’s young. Cons: Eddie’s ridiculous contract. Eddie is old and injury proned. Miami gets the better deal.

2. Portland – Portland sends Shareef, DA and scrub for Peja and Christie. Pros: Shareef has made it very clear he is not putting on a Blazer uniform, so Portland has itself a “situation.” Christie, while an club favorite, has been shopped around this off season. Assuming that Bobby Jackson is healthy next year, they get another scorer in DA, but will miss Christie’s defense. Nevertheless, Shareef bolsters the frontcourt exponentially more than Ostertag will. Portland’s starting 5: Mighty Mouse/Van Exel, Christie, Peja, Zack Randolph, Ratliff. They’re young and competitive, with weapons on both ends of the court. Cons: Shareef plays the same position as a little crybaby named CWebb. They could move him to the 3 spot, but that’s what pissed him off about playing in Portland. He’s a post-up guy who is too good to come off the bench.

3. Houston – Houston sends Jimmy Jackson, Reece Gaines and a draft pick. Pros: Sacramento likes Jimmy, Reece has played extremely well in summer league, etc. but more importantly, how SICK would it be to have a lineup of T-Mac, Peja and Yao?!? Cons: Yeah, right. Jimmy is great but getting up in the years. Reece has yet to prove anything in the league. Sac would give up a star for a has-been and a possible bust.

4. Seattle – Seattle sends Ray Allen, Radman. Sac sends Peja and Songaila. Pros: Allen and Peja are the two best shooters in the NBA. So it’s an even swap. Seattle would like to get rid of Radman though. Cons: Peja is gonna have a shitty time in Seattle. They’ve got no big guys. Every single shot of his is going to get contested.

5. Golden State – GS sends Jason Richardson and Mike Dunleavy. Pros: Sac gets an energy guy who keeps the fans excited and gets the merchandise (read: $$) off the shelves. Dunleavy is developing nicely and is versatile. He can play 4 positions and will fit in nicely with Sac’s team mentality. Plus, these two can commiserate with CWebb about escaping the horror that is the Golden State organization. Golden State is also in desperate need of a pure / clutch shooter. Cons: GS has no offensive threat in the frontcourt. Troy Murphy is underrated and really bangs down there, but he also plays a lot facing the basket. GS would need an intimidating force of some kind in the paint to pull the pressure off of Peja. Just like in Seattle, every shot of his is going to get contested. At least he has a better supporting cast though, in GS. And he would be the uncontested star here.

6. Cleveland – Cavs send Ilgauskas and Dajuan Wagner. Wagner is a bit like Bobby Jackson when he’s healthy. He’s quick and can score at will. Ilgauskas, also when healthy, is a damn good center and shoots his free throws pretty well. A lineup of Snow, LeBron, Peja, Gooden sounds like a pretty good start. Maybe they’ll be this year’s Denver. Cons: Sac has too many big men. They just committed money to Ostertag. Bring in Ilgauskas and you have two very good centers (Brad Miller). Wagner would be attractive to Sac as he’d do well in the run-and-gun game, but they will be missing a reliable perimeter player.

7. LA Lakers – Lakers sign and trade Malone and Kareem Rush. Pros: Peja gets to be with Vlade, so he stops pouting. Sac gets another great shooter in Rush, as well as a veteran presence and another great big man adept at passing. Cons: This is weird. Rivals swapping stars. Again, Malone plays the same position as CWebb, the supposed “franchise player.” You see a pattern here? (GET RID OF WEBBER! NO TEAM WILL RIDE TO THE CHAMPIONSHIP ON HIS SHAKY LEGS AND SHAKIER HEART) Trading your star for a guy who will come off the bench? (As Malone would behind Webber) No way. Sac would probably prefer Odom and Rush. But it’s not likely they’d be willing to let the Lakers have one of their best players.

8. New Jersey – Nets send Kidd. Pros: Peja goes to the East Coast so he doesn’t terrorize Sac. Kidd comes to the West Coast so he doesn’t terrorize New Jersey. Kidd is somewhat close to his hometown, to which he has wanted to return. Cons: Both teams would give themselves big problems. Sac would have the best backcourt in the NBA with Kidd, Bibby, Jackson and Christie in rotation. New Jersey would have Peja, who plays the same position as Jefferson, but no point guard. More likely, NJ would want Bibby to be included, but Sac would want Jefferson. A swap of each teams PGs and SFs? Well, it’s a possibility. But a highly unlikely possibility.

*****Updated******

My ESPN Draft Picks Entry:

Team Gonads and Strife

Updated

1st – Orlando Dwight Howard, GA HS Sr. PF
2nd – Charlotte Emeka Okafor, UConn Jr. PF
3rd – Chicago Andre Iguodala, Ariz. SG/SF
4th – LA Clippers Shaun Livingston, IL HS Sr PG
5th – Dallas Andris Biedrins, Latvia PF/C
6th – Atlanta Devin Harris, Wisconsin Jr. PG
7th – Chicago Luke Jackson, Oregon Sr. SG/SF
8th – Toronto Luol Deng, Duke Fr. SF
9th – Philadelphia Ben Gordon, UConn PG
10th – Cleveland Josh Childress, Stanford Jr. SG/SF
11th – Golden State Jameer Nelson, St Joe’s SR. PG
12th – Seattle Kirk Snyder, Nevada Jr. SG
13th – Portland Josh Smith, GA HS Sr. SF
14th – Utah Sergei Monya, Russia SG

OH HELL YEAH!

I just received confirmation from ESPN that I officially finished second overall for fantasy basketball this season and have won a 20 inch flatscreen TV!

I think I’m locked into 3rd for ESPN fantasy basketball, so rather than winning the huge-ass plasma TV, I get the 13-inch LCD. This marks the first time in my life that I’ve been disappointed with 13 inches.

http://games.espn.go.com/cgi/fba/leaderboard?statType=1&seasonType=0