Yes, I am prepared that my partner and my domestic partner may be two different people. I am learning to come to terms with that if that is the case.
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Yes, I am prepared that my partner and my domestic partner may be two different people. I am learning to come to terms with that if that is the case.
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The prophecy:
He must become him.
I will find him.
He will unlock me.
I will open him.
We will combine for next level perspective.
It was a matter left to good timing. Can two I’s who have not met on this side find the right time and place to meet, have the exact right tools to form the circle?
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The truth is, I’ve asked many people in my life who they can see being my partner, big enough and a fit enough to stand next to me that they say, “Yes, now the picture is complete.” And they’ll hem and they’ll haw and at the end, it’s obvious they can’t see someone either, can’t imagine him yet as a concrete person, even in abstract terms. Only that they’ll recognize him when they see us together. That means to me either I’m not there yet, or he isn’t that person yet.
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Barring a collapse, I’m going to run 10 miles today. My lungs are feeling a little weak from that cold I had, and I still have a mild lingering cough. I want it forced out.
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An eye that can see the entire universe has a right to be called the I of the Universe.
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I wouldn’t give him my number or take his number.
“It must be hard for you to find your one, huh?”
I laughed. I see his point. How do you find the one if you’re locked up in your castle. But it has to be this way. I have to know. Because I’m terrified that I won’t be able to be faithful to anyone but him. I fear that unless I find him, whoever I’m with, I’ll still look for him. And I can’t allow myself to care about someone and hurt him that way. I would most like to be with someone I am so wholely committed to and devoted to, that I know my search has ended. But if that’s not possible, I would rather be alone, than ever hurt a person who loves me.
I’ve always admired people who can express their creativity, their inner selves with spontaneity. It’s watching them, that I can really feel my Saturn block. Trying to work around it though. I just have to remember, the universe has a different purpose for me.
Still won’t give out my number or take a number. Needed some positive reinforcement, so texted B to let him know how good I’ve been, but he was too drunk to care.
Just one of those nights.
It’s hard for me to guide you, because I’m the one who wants you. But to honor you I am willing to guide you, but it means I can no longer want you. For better or for worse, I’ll always sacrifice what I want in the service of someone else. In a way, it has become my penitence, my prison. I think I’m just hoping that one day, there will come a time when I won’t have to, and two people can be happy at once. I just really want what’s mine. But I’m depending on what’s mine to be strong enough to convince me of it, because otherwise, how will I know him from the rest?
“What do you want out of life?”
“Wherever it is I’m trying to go, I want to get there.”
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