Welcome.
Most of you don’t know me. I am someone who has escaped here from the publicity of another blog.
I am somehow by honor or moral fiber bound to tell the truth. But since I am a very secretive person, the more people who start listening to me, watching me, the more I find ways to mask it.
So I found that with people reading it, thinking they knew me, watching me, I found it very hard to be me anymore. I started to become a reaction to me, a response. And then I started disappearing.
We are lucky that we have a luxury in this day and age, to continue protecting our anonymity while continuing to communicate out into space.
I am that person, who keeps sending messages out into the universe, and hopes one day to get an answer back.
You don’t think there is other life out there? Someone who can hear you, truly understand you and for the first time, verify that you actually exist? Isn’t that all we as a species want? Just a nice pat on the head to acknowledge that we’re real so that we can settle into our relief that all of this hasn’t just been lifetimes invested into a complete childish game of pretend?
You don’t need to understand me. If you don’t, just step aside because I’m looking for some one, something, to give me an answer.
Because I’ve been pretending for a long time, pretending to be human. Pretending to have feelings and emotions the way others do. Sometimes it’s so cold and robotic in here. Sometimes I get a faint hint of warmth, the comfort of having a lizard’s heart. And sometimes, I want to wrap people up and heal all of their pain and inner devastation with the sheer intensity of my love for them that the inability to brings me to my knees.
It’s been a life time of people making sure I knew that I didn’t belong. And a life time of truly good-hearted people, those with blind faith, who believed in me, and wanted to love me.
But now, I need to know. What lays inside me? I need my mirror image, so I can finally know. Who I am.
Throughout all this bullshit in this world, all the people who will pretend they’re special to get close to you, I need everyone to be kind and/or mind their own business and step aside. I need everyone around me to be very very quiet, because I need to focus now.
I am searching for someone specific. I commit to not getting distracted. I will recognize this person when I find him. And I will trust the knowledge I will gain.
And if you will all trust me and lay down your arms, I’ll bring that knowledge back and share it with you.