my time in la has been really good but not enough. i was supposed to have been able to spend more time at home to reflect, but after only one night with friends and one night with brian, i’ve gotta go to the bay area and intersect the realities of my family who have been a bit neglected. still, this is not enough time alone to reflect on my own path. i was due to disappear into meditation two days ago. i need to commit to it and do it. tomorrow, i go off the grid. wednesday, i go into the woods. after that…will be whatever happens, whatever’s supposed to happen. i will be brave and accept my reality whatever it is.

the aftertaste of today:

something today did not add up.

man up
stand up

admit.

heart of velvet
brutal hands
infallible code of honor
equal to only his other
truth lays within both man and beast
grace lives in one or the other.

i have to be myself. that’s just what it comes down to.

aspiration

what?

nothing.

no really, what’d you say?

nothing.

sorry.