A Radio Public Service Announcement From the Republican Party:
[jingle]
i lost my leg and it won’t glue back
i lost my leg and it won’t glue back
i lost my leg and it won’t glue back
i ain’t got another cuz my mama smoked crack.
ANNOUNCER: If you’re pregnant and you’re poor, don’t smoke crack. Your child may need duplicate limbs in the event it catches a rare, etiologically-mysterious third-world disease because it was out on the streets every night, selling crack or sex or children for drug liquor and porn money and bleeding the government of funds meant for people in higher income brackets to use in times of below-average stock market performance or really old people whose forefathers fought in the civil war rather than people who can’t get a job because they probably have a criminal record or don’t even know how to read while sharing needles and condoms with the illegals and blacks and gays and probably even the brown-skinned turbans who build weapons of mass destruction in their garages and plan to uproot the institution of monogamy in favor of somewhat homosexual probably bestial debauched sex orgies within which they simultaneously pray to false gods with unlawful names during their carnal relations in front of young children. Because crack kills lepers.
The Republican Party. We understand real people with real problems.