The hardest thing to live with in life is regret.
Every 29 years, we go through this thing that’s called a Saturn return. This is where Saturn returns to the position it was in when you were born, after it’s taken a tour through every aspect of your life and being, teaching you lessons and making you stronger and more disciplined. When Saturn completes its cycle, you go through a period where you evaluate who you are at this point, what you’ve done with your life. You look at if you have been living the life you want and have become the person you want, or if you’re living a life that doesn’t belong to you or is untruthful. If you have been doing the things that move you along your path, you’ll feel good, and this period is a proud and celebratory one, like a major graduation. If you haven’t, you’ll realize that your life has been one disappointment and regret after another. Some people refuse to look at it, so after the Saturn return, they go through another 29 years of numb living, collecting regrets and disappointments that they may or may not be conscious of.
Aubrey read an article somewhere saying that statistically, suicide rates are high amongst people going through their 2nd Saturn return (around ages 58 to 60), though statistically, rates are highest amongst people 65 and older. The article said that this is because by the 2nd return, if you haven’t dealt with things well during your first return and set yourself consciously on your true path, then by the time it comes around again, you’ll review your life and realize that you wasted it and you didn’t live up to your full unique potential.
Sometimes I see people and I see that they’ve ignored the signs that direct them to their path and their place of ultimate self-expression. They walk around numb or angry or bitter, but always refusing to admit that in truth, they have full access and ability to take control of their lives and fulfill themselves with the reality that would make them the most content. Often they take this power (this choice) for granted, and when the universe takes away their ability to choose, when it deals them the bad life-changing cards that are inevitable and binding, they realize what a blessing they’ve squandered. This is a missed opportunity that you can never rewrite, revise or redo.
Pay attention, people. That’s all I ask. If you’re unhappy, ask yourself why, and ask yourself if you have the ability to change your situation. Then be truthful with yourself about fear–if you are afraid of changing your situation, then ask yourself what you’re afraid of, and if this is a beneficial and protective fear, or if this is one that is irrational and hindering you. Let in the people you should trust, and keep out those who you know just allow you to continue an unhappy experience, even though you may prefer that because it makes you feel safer.
We are here to live life, encouraged to make the mistakes that allow us to grow and let in the mentor connections that point us towards the right direction. When we resign ourselves to embodying the idea that our past mistakes compound more mistakes and at the end of the day, we’ve lost our chance to live the life we’ve always wanted to live, then basically, we are just waiting for the day that our dreams and potential actually die, so we can miserably say, “See? It was never an option for me.”
When I’m gone, I hope people say, that person made every effort possible to live her life and realize her potential, to bring positive energy, understanding, compassion and unconditional positive regard to those around her, to learn from her mistakes and set a dignified example, to stumble but always stand up, and to commit to always trying her hardest and to hope for the best, because hope is the life force that keeps us expanding and growing. I hope no one ever says that I gave up, in any way, even when giving up was the easiest decision to make. I hope that people will remember that message of my life, and it will give them the strength to make the most out of their lives, and together, we can all help each other become stronger, more positive and more open with each other.
You can’t help having regrets and disappointments; it’s a part of life and the growing process. Just be aware, that if you’re in the midst of creating a future regret but refusing to admit it, ask yourself why you are allowing yourself to do this and setting up this kind of future, and if this is something that you really want to burden the future you with. Be kind to yourself, because 2 months from now, 2 years from now, 20 years from now, there won’t be a new actor playing you. It’ll still be you, and whatever you put into play now, you will be the one who’s gonna have to deal with it later. So just be conscious and be kind, and do the things that take good care of yourself.