The Art of Spiritual Advising
I have a spiritual advisor I talk to about once every few years. Some might call her psychic, but she does about the same thing I do, but with more detachment. Basically, she can listen to me and gauge the place I am in my life, and where I’m headed by quick calculation of the most likely probabilities and what lessons I’m supposed to be working on. I know the way I do it, I open myself to be receptive to all that someone is communicating on various levels, then I can visualize likely futures. Like if a friend is saying that she’s in a great relationship but starts talking about her boyfriend, I can feel from her tone and the things she’s saying, if she’s actually worried that her boyfriend is unfaithful, even though all she’s talked about is his work schedule. So anyway, I talk to her once every blue moon because if you talk to an advisor too much, you’re basically talking about shit instead of living your life. It’s the same way I feel about therapy. It’s one thing if you’re trying to get advice on something, another if you’re talking instead of doing, fixing, improving, living.
She said she could tell that I was in a very good place in my life and to keep focusing on my career because good things will be happening very soon. We both felt that August would be a strong month. She advised me not too get too distracted by the things that tend to distract me, and to focus on being spiritually strong and not letting petty things bring me down, because at the end of the day, they’ll work out the way they’re supposed to, and to give people a chance.
I’m trying to do that. I know that 4 years ago, I let a bad relationship really get into my head. I let someone who was a weak but mean person hurt me, and the hardest thing was that my intentions were always pure and I was trying to be a bigger person and not play into games, and to help him out of his own personal hell. And I got burned. I guess I still remember that and sometimes it weighs in my head, that I can be kind to people, but then I worry that I’m giving it to people who don’t deserve it, or at the end of the day, they’re just laughing to themselves about what a fool I am.
When I was with my coworker that day and I opened up, I opened up because I didn’t care about what he thought of me. I just needed to be honest to someone. I don’t have any romantic interest in him whatsoever and still don’t, but in that moment, it felt really safe and platonically intimate that I told him everything–how hard karmic relationships are, how I recognize them when they happen, but it’s always sad, because when they end, it feels like dying all over again. And how lonely it is, to see these things and very few people understand it, but I know certain things to be true and so I follow it in hopes that it can help others relieve themselves of pain. Spiritually, I’m a specialist. I’m an expert at recognizing a person’s unique potential, and their specific spiritual obstacles, particularly those created by mother issues. In particular, my area of work is helping wounded healers, people who are cut off from their potentials as ultimate healers. When people come into my life karmically, it’s because they asked the universe for help and the universe puts me in play. I never look for them and they always show up when I’m strong, so in a way, it kind of drives me crazy because I feel like, fuck, I just got myself put back together again from the last one. I’ve been paying attention and it seems specifically, that my karmic connections come in intimate relationships and with people with mother issues. There is no safer person and careful person than me when it comes to this delicate arena, but just for once, I wish someone would stand up and fight through it so that they can taste freedom. Sometimes I wonder, if I can help a wounded healer set himself or herself free, if they in turn will be able to help me.
I think what I need most is someone I can truly trust, who can keep watch and protect me–my body, my mind, my soul–when I’m off exploring those dark recesses of the collective unconscious to bring back knowledge and enlightenment. I read that people with my placement that have this kind of karmic duty (Venus in the 12th house) tend to have an invisible guardian angel. Maybe mine is on a different plane, but I hope one day to find a partner who can take care of me, just as I take care of him. He doesn’t have to be strong now…I don’t judge and I don’t mind helping him. but I hope one day I can find someone who can watch over me while I sleep and dream.