i know i don’t have to apologize, but i want to be open as a symbol of explanation and reciprocation. i’ve been really looking out into the world lately and at the people around me, trying to understand them and be more willing to connect with them. i have communication difficulties inherently that i’ve kind of creatively figured out how to compensate for when i was young…they seem to whimsically get me by. now i’m trying to become more interactive despite inherently finding it draining, but it’s not because people aren’t amazing, wonderful human beings. it’s just because when i say things exactly as i see them, they’re completely true, but people can’t always seem to understand me or refuse to understand, and it can range from being comical to frustrating. i feel like the things i see have value that sometimes people can’t recognize. it’s like trading shells with bead-worshippers. you can’t blame them, it’s just different currencies.
time. words. places. all figments of all our imagination (organization), yet also willed into a concrete reality. it’s such a strange yet complementary paradox.
the reason i enjoyed being 29…
it felt like being a little drunk every day. it was like one year-long new year’s eve party where you could do anything and it didn’t matter, because the slate was being wiped clean and you’d graduated with honors like you’d hoped you would. then at midnight comes this magical mini-reincarnation, except you get to keep your memories. a part of you exits and re-enters through another door, and yet you remember exactly who you are and the room is just as you’d left it, despite the introduction of a whole new world. in that sliver of time when that portal was open, if you’d really let yourself take things in out of the corner of your eye, you could see the shadows of magic (Intention) in the background. remember the rainbow? my little mystery valentine’s gift to you last year… i revealed it. hope you didn’t blink. ;)
master your dreams.
when the dust settles, look around you and see what you were able to bring with you. i hope the things you brought were the ones that will be useful for you. i hope the partners you’ve chosen to stand behind you will be the ones who remain with you. i hope you looked around, when your world was revealed and you saw with only the eye of truth, that you understood what you saw and that you will remember it. i hope this new world will be a good one to you.
and if you’re one of the people who missed it, well, you know…life without proof of magic is fun too. you can, like, go bowling.