dec 14th evaluation
last year i wrote this:
I wanted to be honest that even though I’ve told lies before, it’s never been to be malicious. That’s not who I am. You see, this is what people sometimes don’t understand. Some people lie because they’re assholes, or to take advantage of people, or because they’re pathological, but sometimes, lies can actually be good intentions. Sometimes lies come from an honest place, more honest than the actual truth. Sometimes lies are what keep things okay, you know? What keeps people from forgetting the things that paralyze them in the middle of the night like a deadweight on their chest, what keeps the world from eating its insides out until it can’t remember what it was trying to be in the first place. Sometimes people need to believe in lies, the way they need to know their alarm clock is gonna go off at the same time every morning just because that’s the way they set it, or that the person they wake up next to is still the same person they went to sleep with. Sometimes lies keep things in the right place so you can always find them, even though the truth is, nothing, ever, stays in one place forever…no matter how much you want it to. But I want you to know that you can trust me, because I’m going to tell you everything.
what i did not take into calculation, was that you can’t tell anyone anything if they don’t want to hear it.