just got back to la. clear blue skies, cool breeze and everything where it should be.
as i was walking through the terminal in san jose, men kept turning and looking, but i didn’t care, listening to music and only focusing on some abstract point straight ahead. i felt like natalie portman at the end of closer. i’ve always wondered what she was thinking in that scene, and now i think i know. she’s not thinking of anything. she’s just going where she’s going.
the re-entry process back into my world has been rough…i think i’ve cried on the plane the last 3 times i’ve flown home, though for different reasons. today i cried for art, poetry, love and passion. for truth and compromise. but this is the process. it doesn’t last long but it has to be experienced in order to cross over to the other side.
yes, how i managed to lose 6 lbs in a week on a cruise. it’s envious! just kidding.
it probably balances out, because i had inexplicably gained 6 lbs over the last month, when i was working out intensely with professional trainers and a basketball coach, and doing hours of cardio on my own while reading (i love the discipline of simultaneously focusing my mental energies and physical energies to carry on independently). no significant changes in diet. good sense would say it was probably muscle gain from all the training, but i remember my trainer telling me that the body goes to the weight it needs to be. he said maybe i gained 6 lbs because my body needed it for what i was trying to do. now in hindsight, the fact that i lost exactly 6 lbs burning off this inevitable fever of mind & soul from the cruise experience seems to say that somewhere, a part of me already had a good idea what was coming up and prepared for it. i’ve always felt strongly about what the greeks said, strong body, strong mind. and the last week, my mind has burned an intense amount of fuel that my body has been strong enough to support.
got home and looked at my concert calendar:
8/26 – Cake at the Fonda
8/30 – Ask Your Mama at the Hollywood Bowl, Sunday Sunset Series (the Hollywood Bowl always provides a spiritual experience at exactly the time I need it, so I chose this concert even though I have no idea who Ask Your Mama is)
9/16 – Phoenix at the Greek
10/14 – Moby at the Wiltern
much music to look forward to. now it’s up to me to fill the spaces in between productively.
am happy to be home. much work ahead of me.