looked over the schedule again. 9/16/2009…phoenix at the greek. phoenix at the greek.

the last few weeks, i’ve been really fixated on the phoenix symbol, getting the closest i’ve ever been to getting a tattoo. i wanted the symbol to have exactly 36 parts representing 9, the goddess in numerical form, and it had to look like two mirrored birds come together to form the wings of the larger phoenix. something like this:

the tattoo artist got really excited because of how deeply i had considered the symbol. i’ve been searching for my symbol all my life, and i feel a kinship with this idea. but the appointment to discuss the creation of the symbol got cancelled because of an emergency doctor appointment for him, and i took it as a sign that it’s not the time yet, or perhaps, it’s the creation of the symbol that’s important, but maybe i don’t have to sacrifice my body for it. if i do get it, it’s going to be like a warrior’s crest on my back. it will symbolize me, and my future lineage. my future children can choose to accept it as something i pass down to them, and the knowledge and power that comes with it. a new world order, from the inside out. from the ashes and darkness rise inspiration, beauty and power. true power is the fire that burns blue, but the gentleness to never use power to destroy for the sake of destruction, but to build, nurture, bring into this world something new.

true strength is knowing how to be gentle.
true strength is knowing when to concede to the will of the universe
true strength is knowing when to grasp and when to let go

getting the tattoo will also mean that i’ve committed to rarely showing my upper back in public, except when i want to show my true inner self.

i haven’t decided yet.

regardless, in the last few weeks, i’ve accepted the phoenix as my symbol, and it has given me a new level of peace. like when i realized the power and connection of the number 9 for me. and the ideas i’ve read about from the greeks have come up a lot in conversation, surprising me because i haven’t been reading greek lit at all. probably not since college. so when i hear myself talking about them, i think, where are these ideas coming from? i haven’t thought about them in years, but they’re exactly along the lines of the things i’ve been exploring.

so when i realized i’m going to phoenix at the greek, i checked the date and it’s a 9 day. i don’t put too much weight in these things, but 3 concepts synchronized usually gets my attention. sometimes they’re interesting, sometimes they’re nothing. but i definitely am curious about that day now, and what ideas i might encounter.

August 6th, 2009 | Comments Off on

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