I went to the Les Nubians show on Friday and they seated me next to a handsome, lightskinned guy who was also by himself. He introduced himself is David. This is the 3rd David I’ve met this week in Seattle. Are we doing that again? I would prefer not to. He tells me Les Nubians, like him, are from Camaroon. The show is good but he talks to me through most of it, telling me about Seattle, and how the dating scene is tough because people are kind of standoffish–they don’t really talk. He says that’s why I should give him my number at the end of the show, so we can keep in touch.
As I told Brian last night when I got home, this is a new era for me. He’d once had a talk with me about not giving out my number because what ends up happening is I regret it 89% of the time. Sometimes I regret it as I’m giving someone my number because I don’t really want to give it to them, but I feel put on the spot. But in Seattle, I haven’t given out my number a single time, which is great. It has felt important to me that I don’t.
During the show, I realize that it’s kind of important to me that people don’t know how to find me. That I’m here to explore incidence and accident, coincidence. How the paths of strangers cross and recross. I’m here for everything to funnel into my creativity, and I don’t want to invite people in unless I’m sure I want to invite people in. I like that I’m starting out socially so clean. I like that overall, people in Seattle are friendly but mind their own business.
This guy is nice, but he’s a little aggressive. So during the last song, I slip out to go to the bathroom, then leave, sitting in the upstairs lounge where there’s an ambience band free-styling deep, sultry jazz.
I don’t usually walk out on someone without saying goodbye, but while I enjoyed our conversation, I just didn’t want to open a door into my life. My life is not about being polite anymore. It’s about doing whatever I want and building my life experience the way I want and need it. And right now, I have a clean, open canvas. I plan to be very selective about what I choose to fill it with.