Last night in LA. So surreal.
Had my last session with my basketball coach. He told me that he had me to thank…getting to know me and watching me decide to leave everything behind and follow my dreams made him realize that he wants to do what he can to get back with his ex-fiance. He’d called me the night before I left for Seattle, wanting to know my opinion about the girl he was dating. She was mad at him for not checking in more during the day, and even though she said she’s not needy, she said that her ex-boyfriends would always call her throughout the day to tell her they loved her, and she felt like he didn’t connect enough. I remember thinking, this girl is high-maintenance and not his girl. I remember also thinking, from the way he was talking, he knew the answer. But often we don’t like to accept the answers we already know. I remember saying at the end of the call, that if he was happy with the situation, then that’s what matters. But if he wasn’t, then he had to think about the cost-benefits. Is what he’s getting out worth the negative aspects of the relationship? Because all relationships have pros and cons. It’s a matter of where the balance is in the bigger picture.
So he came up and gave me a big hug today and told me that after talking to me, he realized that even when he was with the girl he was dating, he realized he was thinking about his ex-fiance (they’d broken up 6 years ago). And that he’d been thinking about her a lot lately. At the time they were engaged, he was pursuing a professional basketball career and she went to med school in Michigan, so he decided not to move out there. That was the beginning of the end. But now, he’s realized that he’s willing to pursue other dreams if it means he can have her in his life again. So watching me work on faith and decide to pick up my life and move to Seattle,he’s gathering himself to pick up his life and move to Phoenix where his ex is if she’s willing to give it another try.
I’m really happy. Who knows if it will work out. But at least he’s pursuing something he feels strongly to be truthful. I remember, early on, whenever he mentioned her, I would feel strongly that he was still in love with her. I called him out on it the session before I left last week, telling him pointblank that he was still in love with his ex-fiance and he told me to shut up. Maybe that’s why he called me that night to talk to me about the girl he’s dating (we’d never talked on the phone); maybe it wasn’t really problem-solving his current situation. It was him coming to a conscious realization he was still in love with his ex.
Regardless, I told him he has to invite me to his wedding, whether it’s with his ex-fiance, or another woman, I want to be there and give a speech. He said he would definitely have me there and would love for me to speak. In a way, I’m the patron saint for his new awakening.
I told him, you know…I’m an ordained minister. I’m authorized to perform weddings. He didn’t believe me. What church?, he asked me. The Universal Life Church of Modesto, I said. All you have to do is go to their website, fill out a form and print out a certificate. Anyone can get ordained! I did it as a joke like 10 years ago because I was shooting a spec commercial and my director of photography told me about it. His name was BJ, and we would call him Reverend BJ. It sounded like a porn name.
I challenged him to one-on-one at the end of the session. He didn’t want to, but I told him that I wanted to put everything he taught me into action. So we played and I started by scoring 4 in a row on him. Where did these moves come from?, he asked. My own specialty, I said. This is where my creativity comes to play…I’m a great improvisor. The way I play may not be fundamentally pretty, but I get the job done.
Other great things happened as well today. I had to buy a futon yesterday. I’ve always had a bed, but my place in Seattle’s a studio, so I decided to just get a futon and make it look like a living work space, because I don’t want to get too settled into thinking it’s a home. I’m there to work. But the guy who sold me the futon, kind of a frazzled, overweight guy with giant blue eyes, was very helpful. I’ve never owned a futon so he had to explain everything to me. As I was leaving, I shook his hand and really sincerely thanked him for being so helpful and told him he was a great salesperson. I really meant it. When I called him today to give him my shipping address, his voice lit up when I identified myself. I gave him the address and he told me he was really happy to have met me and that I’m an amazing person. That was a really, incredibly sweet thing to say. Just from buying a futon. I’m really believing in the paying it forward concept. It’s like the more truly happy and nicer I am, the more other people are affected by it, and when they are positive and kind towards me, it refuels me to be happy and nice towards more people. It’s a giant circle. And maybe they’re going out and spreading happiness and kindness as well!
My car was ready by late afternoon and I went to pick it up. The guys I’ve worked with were really happy to see me as well, all coming out to say goodbye. It’s like everyone who knows about me going to Seattle, this whole thing is inspiring them. Paul came out and gave me a big hug like we’d been friends for years. Keep in touch, he said. Let us know about all your adventures. Please come back and visit whenever you can, he said. I whisper, You may not be here! I tell him, good luck on your life journey as well.
I’m feeling that the fact I’m starting off on this journey with such a conviction of faith despite the purpose and end goal being unknown, this journey now matters to anyone who is close to me or meets me. I feel that the fact I’m embarking on it so suddenly but confidently gives people hope and inspiration, and that it means a lot to other people as well that I succeed.
It’s hope. That a person can set out into the unknown to make life what he or she wants to make of it. Because if one person can do it, it means anyone can do it.
I want to inspire people. I want people to look for the truth and beauty inside themselves, and realize that you can make the most of what you’re given, or you can make the most of what you can give. Maybe both mindsets lead you to the same place, but at least you trusted yourself and gave yourself a chance to find a place and outlook where you are an active star, not a passive bystander. The thing I always tell people, is that we’re more in control of our lives than we think. What matters, is what we believe. Knowing that the symbolism of my journey is important to those who know me, and those who have yet to meet me, gives me more motivation. More determination.
The only failure, is if I stop believing.
This is not an option.