he was a great listener. i told him he wouldn’t believe the day i’ve had. the week i’ve had. the life i’ve had. about the kind of boss that god is, how he’s always dangling the exact carrots that get me to do whatever he wants, but sometimes i demand some proof of goods. but what most people don’t know is that we should expect as much back from him, as we are giving out to the world. the biggest fallacy in the world is that we somehow owe god and must fear him. he might be sitting at a greater, more omniscient position, but he needs us to believe in him just as much as we need him to believe in us.
i told him about how much i love people, about all these doors i see them passing up, but they don’t notice them. and when i point them out sometimes, they don’t believe me.
i told him that when i left my home today, i thought i was going to do something almost predatorial, win one for the team by not holding anything back. the intensity of the energy flowing through me was electrifying, sometimes it seems unfair to just unleash when it’s that concentrated. but tonight, i wanted it– all it would take is one ignorant, cocky guy to make eye contact and saunter over thinking he had me pegged, for me to blow his world apart. without him even understanding how i did it without touching anything. but i have so much restraint, i walked past the rowdier places where i was sure to cross paths with a douchebag served up like chum and headed straight to the triple door, which has had great music every time i’ve been there. tonight a dj was spinning good r&b (Very superstitious, writing’s on the wall …) the nostalgia and beat taming my beast. i listened to the music, and while observing the giant aquarium, that’s when i found him, this fish, to spill all my silent thoughts to. he sat there patiently the whole time. i couldn’t have imagined a more gracious audience.
