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Damn…I need to not have my alarm set on NPR in the morning. I’m having the most violent dreams because they’re always talking about Iraq.

So it’s a little after 7am and I’m up, which is tragic. I can either go to the gym or get ready for work and go sleep at Coffee Bean like a homeless person for an hour.

I talked to Sarita yesterday about wanting to move back up to the bay area. I don’t think I would do it because I love my circle of friends down here and I go through this stage at least twice a year, but there are times when I really hate this town. Being in Seattle was great because of the sense of community and how friendly people were up there. I mean, down here, I’m so friendly, warm and sincere that I feel like people think I’m easy to take advantage of. Back home in the bay area, I would be able to help an old lady across the street without her thinking I’m going to ask for money or steal her purse, or smile at someone’s babies without her thinking that I was sizing up her kids, trying to figure out how much the little blue eyed one would go for on the black market. But of course, maybe I’m projecting. It’s probably true that I can be comfortable/uncomfortable anywhere. But I really hate how values are fucked up down here. And that I don’t feel comfortable being my natural little miss Helpy-Helpy self.

Mornings smell so gooood.

April 14th, 2004 | Comments Off on

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    experimental stream of consciousness writer who may or may not be a liar. sanest person you've ever met but i'll look you in the eyes like a computer eating magnets. what i don't know about you, i'll make up. and you'll still love me because you don't know where i went that moment you swore i disappeared. my moods chase the seasons and i hear it makes an interesting read. i like smelling good.

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