like eric bana in a red shirt and cowboy hat
who played the husband in the time traveler’s wife
i wondered what it would be like if i fell for a cowboy
he’d been leaning in the corner watching me without watching me
and in that moment, did a little spin with a hat tip that was meant for me
but still without the courage to meet my eyes.
he was dancing for me
i liked that he could be in sync with the whole or
in a rhythm of his own
but i pretended not to notice
mostly out of not knowing what to do
with a beautiful man in unexpected form
thick black hair and neat beard
proclaiming a polite wildness inside him
that he might let you touch if you’re patient enough.
a cowboy.
behold, the unexpected,
i’m being wooed by a cowboy.
he came over and leaned on the rail next to me,
so close i could watch his irises dance with the music
almost feel the heat from the sweat that made his
earlobe glisten
i pretended to watch the band as he
reached into his left front pocket
first taking out his driver’s license
then miscellaneous cards and change
putting them in his pants pocket
like removing armor in preparation for
laying his heart bare
he took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair
stealing a glance back to catch me watching
but still, i pretended to only be here for the band
feeling the band
unaware
we stayed like that for 3 songs
three feet from each other
electricity raising the hair on our arms
but not saying a word.
i can already hear my friends screaming at me for ignoring him
finally, as the band started in on “friends in low places,”
he politely said goodnight to the group on the other side of me
and left without a single look back.
i shivered, feeling a piece of me peel away,
some space inside me he was
occupying without my awareness suddenly empty
like having a tooth pulled
i immediately missed the beauty that had so presently
been so near me
immediately wondered if i would ever see him again
thinking that if he had said hi
i would have been touching the dreams of a cowboy tonight
wrapping him in the safe coccoon of my world where
all secrets fall away under the still blue eye of the moon
i didn’t worry about it though.
beauty comes and beauty goes
the only eternal beauty is the one that matches mine
i think with all the worlds we will conquer
when i meet the one who could really be my partner
the least he’ll be courageous enough to do is say hello