I’ve put together deals worth just under a million. If I go work for my mom, I will have the opportunity to put together multi-million dollar deals if I believe in myself enough. My greatest fear is that this company has always been her territory, and I’ve always tried to carve mine. The entire family has always had such high expectations of me, that sometimes I feel I have to be perfect in their eyes. Failure is a part of success. You have to fall down lots of times to get better at walking, then running, but while I know this, I also don’t like for them to see the times I fall down. In the past, I just let them know when I’ve won an award, or achieved something. But working for her, they’re going to see all of it, and it’s so much pressure because I don’t want them freaking out when I fall down. I always stand up, but I need them to accept the human process when it comes to me. That’s one of the reasons I never wanted to work for them. The Dark Side, we call the company, since everyone ends up working there. But they always planned for me to be the successor, but weren’t willing to train me. So I became the Prodigal Daughter.
Now, things have changed. My mom had her scare and realized she can’t do it all herself forever. I’m going stir crazy from lack of challenges, particularly since I can’t play basketball anymore so I don’t have that outlet for pushing myself through self-discipline and competition. I don’t have anything that spikes my dopamine levels, which I need. I went in to discuss with Bohr. He doesn’t want to be a product manager anymore, and while he wants the sales commission, he doesn’t want to do sales. He wants us to be a team…I’m the face, brain and mouth, he’s the technical back-up. We would split commission. Working for the Dark Side.
Outcome is 50/50 right now.