I was at a birthday party at a bar on Saturday and I see a girl we’ll call “K.” K was once a friend but during college, someone really fucked me over and stabbed me in the back at the newspaper when I was home for a semester having knee surgery, and she went along with it, letting me take the fall. When the shit came down the wire, I emailed her and asked her to be straight with me about what was going on and she made it clear that she was not standing by me. The people on my staff made a lot of noise for me and uncovered some unethical, scandalous stuff, and it all worked out. The Michigan Daily is so fucking corrupt. But it didn’t matter. She came back after the shit hit the fan and said that it was all this one guy’s doing and nothing to do with her but I was so fucking disappointed with her that I could barely even look at her anymore, let alone be friends with her. But being the way I am, I was still cordial after that and never said anything about the disgust I felt over her role in everything that had happened.
On Saturday, I saw her but was wrapped up in too many conversations to say hi. I was at the other side of the bar playing darts when she came up to me and said that she had seen me and wanted to say hi. I said hi but was really short with my answers, not really making eye contact and immediately turning to talk to Jason, the guy I was playing darts with, right after answering each of her questions. I wasn’t trying to prove a point or be rude; I just couldn’t find it in me to talk to her and act like everything was great between us. Finally, she gets it and says, “Well, it was nice talking to you, Julia.” I smile, shake her hand warmly and say, “It was good seeing you, K.” I was very nice about it, but I couldn’t fake the fact that I just didn’t want to talk to her because I didn’t respect her.
So somewhere near the end of the night, Jason wanted to play a game of darts for a blowjob. So I won, and I transferred my blowjob to Max, since you know, I don’t have a penis.
As we were all leaving the bar, I saw Max and I said, “Jason’s gonna give you that blowjob at my place.” (which was me letting him know that we were all heading to my place to afterparty). But at that moment, K walked out of the bar and heard me. So she says, ” Bye Julia.” And I say, “Bye.”
She takes a few steps then turns around and yells, really nastily, “Good luck giving out those blowjobs.” So I say, “I’m not the one who’s giving it out.” And she says, “Right. Good luck giving out blowjobs.” And walks off.
So all the guys outside the bar are like, “That was AWESOME! That was so fucking bitchy!” And I’m like, “What the fuck?”
But I guess I found out later from friends that she had seen me and had asked around about where I was, specifically trying to find me, so I guess she had been excited to talk to me. And then when I was unresponsive, it must have not been what she was expecting and it hurt her feelings.
But honestly, how can you pretend to be okay with someone if, when you’re looking at them, you’re so overwhelmingly aware that you don’t respect them? I’m not mean about it. But it’s uncomfortable for me to be in that situation, and to know how easy it is to read me through my eyes. Dude, if you’re someone who has fucked me over and knows it, just leave me alone. It’s better for both of us.