April is going to be a very busy month. Can I afford any surprises? Tonight I was at the store buying a jalapeno, an onion, and some half & half. This is my 3rd time buying half & half this week. The first time it went bad well before the expiration date, the 2nd time, it fell out of the bag and I left it in the car overnight. This time, I babied it and made sure it made it into the fridge, so now I can make coffee at home instead of making an excuse to go all the way to Capitol Hill. But this is a tangent.
I was standing in line when I saw the US Weekly cover. There was a picture of Ricky Martin and in bold all caps, “I’M GAY!”
I must have been giggling to myself because the guy behind me said, “Did you just laugh because of one of the magazines?” I turned around and it was this tall guy with brown hair wearing a baseball cap. He had a warm, brilliant smile. I felt the shyness closing in but I did keep enough composure to say, “Yeah, that Ricky Martin’s gay.”
He laughed. “Who would have ever guessed?”
“I know. I don’t know what to believe anymore,” I said.
I checked out, and as I was leaving, I turned and told him to have a good night. I smiled, putting enough juice into it to power up a third world country. I can not let these men with their big, beautiful smiles constantly turn me into a 6 year old inside. I have to brave through it, be an adult.
I suppressed the desire to run away. Walked calmly. Fumbled trying to stick the onion into my coat pocket. Dropped my keys. I’m a wreck.