The first time I hung out with Curtis. I saw him orbiting closer and closer, testing out different distances. When I noticed he was suddenly sitting on my couch and I couldn’t remember how long he’d been there, and realized if I leaned back he would be within a personal space distance too close to ignore, I decided I needed to leave. He said he had no intentions of trying anything but from my perspective, his intentions followed a straight line with a clear motivation. But he says it wasn’t in his mind.
So then, like right now. The guy in the bar sitting next to me. I haven’t directly caught him watching me, but I know he is because he’s mirroring me. I keep my eyes off him. Pick up my drink, he picks up his. I lean back, he leans back. And we have yet to make eye contact. A few minutes ago, he leaned against the bar to order a drink. His hand rested against mine. I moved my arm. He quickly moved his hand. So if I looked him in the eye suddenly and asked him if he is trying to get my attention, he would be shocked and say no? Or is he completely unconscious of his body carrying out the intentions of his will?
I think I tend to interact with people’s shadows, their unconscious being. Maybe that’s why I see things they communicate that they seem oblivious of (or perhaps they’re not willing to admit), and I have these experiences with people where I have conversations that they don’t remember or don’t own up to. Or maybe the part of these people that reach out for me is a completely different consciousness within the person. Either way, whether or not people admit it or remember, I don’t enter any life unless they drew me into it. I don’t go anywhere I wasn’t first wanted.