status of the zoo:
the panther got loose. i’m pretty sure she either fucked or ate something. no one knows which because we were all too afraid to follow her.
the monkeys formed a union and have “quit,” whatever that means. like fine then. where’re you gonna go? how do you quit a zoo?
the birds, all of them, are constipated; they seem really confused by the last batch of erratic weather
and the penguins have learned how to use computers.
perhaps that last point was the one i should have led with.