Sometimes I think you might be a psychopath.
I looked up and smirked. Why do you say that?
Just…You, he said.
Later I announced that I was going to make a personal call.
Why don’t you use the team room?
Why? I said.
I called the blinds company. I’d placed an order for blinds a few days ago and I was calling in the credit card. As it was ringing, i looked over at him and pretended someone picked up. Yes, I would like to put a hit out on the guy across from me, I said. He rolled his eyes. The old Vietnamese lady picked up and I told her it was Julia. That I’d talked to Matthew and I was calling in a credit card number. She asked me how I wanted to split the deposit and payment, and I said, $400 up front, and $483 after. I gave her my credit card information and hung up.
So how much did it cost you to put a hit on me, he asked.
You heard me. $400 up front and $483 when the job’s done.
Psychopath, he said. But he was laughing.
Incidentally, today was also the day I took advantage of the heatwave and baked cookies on the dashboard of my car. They put the picture up on the Am-x Facebook page.