There’s this guy who plays during my dad’s open gym. He’s not a jerk, I don’t think. He’s just aggressive and always knocking me down. At least once a week. There was one weekend he’d already knocked me down twice when I was going for the drive, but I was playing really well regardless. On one of the last plays, I got the pass in the corner and went up for the jumpshot. He came flying into me and crashed, bumping my knee with his which was excruciating. I hit the floor and the pain made my whole leg weak, but I still got up and just walked it off quietly. Found out later I hit the shot. I think that collision made him realize he could really hurt me and he has backed off since then, which is why I don’t think he’s intentionally a jerk, but he still knocks me down at least once a week. When it happens, I usually just yell “C’mon!” in a hot flash of pissed as I get up, but I always let it go immediately, keeping my mind in the game. Last week, he knocked me down again, and it was the same hot irritation frustration as I hit the floor. I got back up and the teams reset the play. He was standing facing the basket and I was walking by towards halfcourt in the opposite direction. As I passed him, on complete impulse, in one fluid motion, I slapped him on the ass. Hard. And kept walking back to my position without missing a beat, just my usual silent intensity turned obliviousness when I’m completely focused on what’s next. There was howling and disbelief from the other guys in the gym–my dad wasn’t there (he’s been in Taiwan) so it was his 50 to 60 year-old basketball friends who have a reverent relationship with him (he’s the Big Brother of the circle), and a handful of my coworkers. I don’t even know half of them (in fact, I don’t even know who this aggressive guy is and who he knows that got him a pass into our gym), but from their point of view, basically the boss’ daughter just spanked a guy for knocking her down.
On Monday morning, Jerry and I talked about it at work. “You didn’t just pat his butt,” he said. “You full on spanked him! Like a dominatrix. And it was completely natural, like you didn’t even think about it. You just did it.”
I smiled at him. That’s how you earn street cred.