Reflecting on that last post, I’m thinking about expectations, how people who see me do something like that will assume certain things of me, expect me to be certain things, even only in terms of the most basic assumptions. And then they get closer to me and I’m not what they expected. Yet at all times, I’m just being me. But I think it’s hard to deal with constantly disappointing people. It made me feel how there are some things that look so different when seen from different angles, or from different distances. I think I’m one of those things, like how I can look so different in photographs and even in person. I think it would be easier if what people expected was in fact what I was, or if they didn’t root their acceptance in their expectations. The reason I like listening to the radio is that even if for the most part it’s what I expect to hear (same songs), I like that there’s still room for surprise. I’m probably someone that you can feel comfortable with, because I’m a predictable person. My positive traits are pretty straightforward, my negative traits are pretty straightforward. But if you can accept that, you can enjoy the quirky little ways I’m unpredictable in my predictability.
Back to my original point, I’m thinking about how if someone didn’t really know me, what kinds of ideas or assumptions would they form about me as a person, as a personality, and how much of those are really me or can be me, and how much of those ideas are contradictingly misleading so if they really met me in a different light, they would be utterly confused if I’m the same person.