Okay, let’s be honest. If I knew it would never ever ever ever ever become public knowledge, in any given situation, I will push to see how far things go. I am capable of saying anything in the moment to get you in bed. Most times I’ll do it without even touching you. You will be the one who touches first. You will never have wanted something so badly. I’m a tiger. I have hunger. When it comes down to it, one way or another, I get fed. And when I’m done, I can disappear.
But I have a heart. Sometimes I confuse food with love. And that has caused me a certain amount of grief in my life.
I guard my privacy. The fear of exposure keeps me in check. I’m careful getting involved with people. I’m mindful of entrapment. So for the most part, I keep myself in check. But it’s those black alley “have you ever danced with the devil under the pale moonlight” moments, when my panther appears.
Now I’m thinking, Richard Branson fucks whoever he wants. Because he’s fucking Richard Branson and he has a spaceship company. It’s not my problem you’re married. You wanna hang with me you gotta give me a reason. Because I’m doing what I want when others just do what they can.
I mentioned all I’ve been thinking about today to Jerry, who once declared the Ashley Madison site created by the devil. I told him about how single guys won’t approach me bc they feel they have too much to lose. Married guys are more bold because they can hide behind their situation and have nothing to lose. That’s probably why the ones who aren’t skeezy are so honest about it. Maybe this is it in an imperfect world, and in a perfect world, i’m someone’s 2nd marriage, when they go through what they thought they were supposed to do, the natural progression of things, then realize one day, their lives got away from them.
He wrote back, makes sense. Can’t really argue any of it.
He’s condoning my involvement with married men?
Unexpected.