9 years ago I told that douchebag Mike, I can get any guy I want. Now it’s happening, where I see a guy I wanna talk to and just by thinking about it without really trying, he’ll approach me. But yesterday was a lesson in, you may not always want what you get when you get what you want. You can’t be married to the results. And I know pretty quickly.
The married engineer told me to try everything. I’ve always been good at intuitively knowing good physical chemistry. But sometimes when I realize I can’t see a guy as my partner, I’ll drop my interest (because I don’t like to waste time) but if there’s chemistry there, I’ll battle with wanting to sleep with them once just to have tasted and my conscience of knowing that’s all I want.
That’s probably why so often I don’t get involved. Getting close to people stirs up very complicated feelings in me.
I was impressed though that I had just written about never liking someone and having him reciprocate, and it happened twice yesterday, of course being dressed as Lara Croft and having guns strapped to my legs helped. But made me wonder again, how much of this site is reflection and how much is programming my reality.