Ever since this site started falling apart technically because I was afraid to do the updates and lose content, I stopped posting, mostly because I couldn’t post on the fly anymore. Or maybe because my life stabilized, so I had less time to do what I love to do–go out and watch from the shadows, talk to strangers, try to catch a glimpse of the code within the fabric of our universe.
In the time since, I’ve grown, I’ve mentored, my focus in life shifted and reshifted. I met the love of my life in the form of a little boy whom I had been dreaming about since I was in my 20s. Whereas I used to always have recurring dreams of people I knew from before time (the blue man, the little 22 boy named Adrian), after I met them, those dreams stopped.
And then about a month ago. I had a dream of someone I knew from before time and it was the same feeling–like meeting a long lost friend you had forgotten all about, and then that familiar feeling of closeness and relief in having found them again. In that moment, your soul is completely lit up like a sun against a night sky, you wonder, how did I ever forget you were in this world?
And then it happened again a couple weeks later.
The first dream, I ran into him and I said, how did I forget about you? I couldn’t believe it. It was a feeling of suddenly finding what I had no idea I had lost.
The second dream happened the night of Sunday 9/8. A 29 day. I dreamed of a little boy, he was 2 years old, yet he and I were best friends and so happy to see each other. I went to give him a hug and inside him, a firecracker lit up and burned red. At first I panicked–the little boy was hugging me so…close. I wanted to pull away because it made me feel like a pedophile. But just as soon as that feeling came, I realized, it’s okay. Because we are the same age. I was a little girl too.
When I woke up, I was puzzled because that was 2 dreams in a row of that “feeling”–a closeness, like 2 halves realizing their completeness in the place before time, and getting a chance to meet there again.
It was a good dream–those kinds of dreams always are. They make me feel safe and comforted. They remind me there is more to this world, and I have connections beyond this world. That love doesn’t go away or die when we come back. We just don’t recognize it when we are here.
But the dreams also confused me. Previously they had signified people I would meet in the future, I didn’t quite know why I was having this type of dream again now, when I felt my life was set. I thought about it for a couple of days but there weren’t really any answers.
2 days later, someone showed me something that broke my heart, and I gave him a hug. Later, he told me sometimes he has dreams that end up coming true later, like he perceives reality in advance. And something clicked in my head. I am positive he was the little boy in that dream.