i feel like sarah has a memory of me telling her the meaning behind paper lanterns. but i have forgotten. sometimes i speak from a different place.
i thought about it and i think it has to do with the moon. for those who were lonely growing up and felt drawn to the moon, there was a certain spiritual hug it provided. that somewhere out there, someone was listening. someone saw you. someone loved you. someone cared for you. and maybe you even spoke to it, if not outloud, then in your heart, and even though it could not speak back, you felt someone was there. perceiving.
and i think in life sometimes you think you’ve found it, that person who is the moon and was there for you, all those nights you felt scared, alone, desperate. you think they’re going to hold you the way you need, to envelope the world and make you feel so safe, forever.
and then you reach out, your spirit laughing/crying/dying at your knees and your arms spread so open and you say, remember me, and this moment to you is the absolute proof of magic in this world. and then they turn with their cold blank eyes, with no recognition.
that’s what i meant by paper lanterns. they are very confusing.
but i will admit, it’s hard to tell. because your childheart’s desperate search to hug the moon will never cease.