Echo

Watching me, a man has to decide first if he can even catch me, and if he can catch me without getting hurt or hurting me.

Lately, I can jump up and grab the net.

Shirt says,

Say Hello to My Little Friend.

“Holy fucking shit.”

Holy fucking shit is right.

This site is where you can see my true reactions to the world around me.

It’s so obvious to people I live in a different world.

It’s interesting that I keep coming back.

Intraterrestrials. We live in tangible reality. But we go other places as well. And those worlds are just as real.

Don’t FUCK with my head. I only have so much self control before I fire back.

I’m hurting tonight, bro. One of the compartments is leaking.

People want me because I’m a mirror. They are really just looking for themselves.

In NY, that married engineer asked me if I would be able to get $10 million dollars if it meant that’s how much it would cost to do whatever I wanted and explore my full potential.

Why are people always trying to gauge my wealth?

It’s freedom. I’m telling you, it’s the freedom. I’ve accepted myself and life. But in terms of money, depends. On whether $10 million is the magical requirement, or if I could do it for less. I can probably do it for less.

I absorb people’s unconscious. But I can also mirror it back to them. You would be surprised how many people don’t even recognize their own reflection.

You want the tiger. But I am the wolf.

Don’t try to see how others see things. See how you feel them.

Take a guy, who’s kind, decent and gentle, and make it work. That’s where I am in my life.

So to address the freakout last night.

I think I was scared I was ignoring red flags. I managed to convince myself he had a girlfriend or another woman.

I think the difference has been in the past, I was worried about red flags that the guy was wrong for me. I think in this case, I really like the guy and I’m worried about the red flags that I’m gonna get hurt.

Mercury retrograde starts today until the 26th. It’s terrible we’re having an election on the exact day it starts while Mercury is stationary, when malfunctions are at their worst. I already read about one voting machine that turns Obama votes to Romney, and they don’t know if it’s a malfunction or a hack.

We started our day by having our network go down for more than an hour, because a pipe fell on some wiring.

This retrograde is going to be a bad one. Think Sandy bad.

I was reading about Venus in Cancer and came across this line:

If you’re constantly dragging them out of the house for exciting dates, they will think you don’t love them.

LOL. So true.

I’m so psychic. I gave the married engineer a week and half to reach out and he sent me an email today, exactly as I predicted.

Sometimes I think I suffer from raging paranoia but it’s not really paranoia if what you feared turns out to be true in hindsight. And my psychic antennae tends to be well-tuned with a history of picking up hidden truths.

I woke up at 5:40 am for the second day in a row. At least I got almost 6 hours of sleep but something is really bothering me.

Today my goal is to focus on work.

I really need someone who communicates consistently.

By the way, we had a marketing lunch last week and I walked in when half the team was seated so I had two choices–sit by one of the designers or sit by one of my teammates from the tournament.

I really like my teammate. Huge fan of his game–his hustle, his work ethic, his good attitude, his quiet confidence, his unselfishness. He’s a winner. I always say you can tell a lot about a man from how he plays basketball.

I admitted to my friend at work I really liked him as a person but he’s very young. Plus, he still lives at home. Plus, I’m his boss’s boss.

So I wanted to sit by him but I didn’t want to be obvious so I sat on the other side by the designer instead. As soon as I sat down, I saw the serving wheel turn and there was a cup of tea in front of me. I look up and saw my teammate had done it. Subtly considerate. He’s a good guy.

I kept catching him looking at me throughout lunch.

Lately he’s been messaging me a lot at night because we are in the same fantasy basketball league and had tried to pull a blockbuster trade the first week that got vetoed. Almost every night.

I told Shello this morning, I’ve got one guy who disappears periodically, and another who is consistent. Guess which one makes me feel better?

9 years younger or 10 years older? Well, it comes down to who you trust more.

You said it yourself. Persistence and consistency. You need it. You have low tolerance for the unknown and not knowing where you stand. It does NOT bring out the best in you. Add to that your simultaneous fear of and tendency to repeat the past.

Continue being a rock and an island?

Shit, J. How are you 34 years old and you can read people so well but not be able to figure them out? Why is the navigation so hard?

Okay, let’s break this down. 1st. You only got 2 hours of sleep last night. You can not be thinking or emoting straight. Historically you can not keep your thoughts and emotions from tangling when you are tired. Go to sleep.

2nd. Don’t go on tilt. Stay on your own foundation. On your own side. Stay within yourself and your strength. Breathe. Whatever happens, you have control over yourself and your life. You are okay and you will be okay. Don’t lose that trust.

3rd. You have not been eating enough. You’re anxious. You’re in a state of hypervigilance. You have to detach from the cause and focus on yourself. You’re being controlled from the outside. The inability to sleep and eat are signs. You don’t need to make any sudden drastic moves. But you do have to figure out what’s what and if it’s something that you want in your life.

Revisit this tomorrow. Let it lay tonight.

You got this. Next 3 weeks you’re going to be tested. You got this. Don’t lose sight of what’s important.

My optimism clashes with the truth of hindsight. 3 weeks of mercury retrograde. Maybe best to lay low? I can’t tell what is me (emotions) and what is psychic antennae. But that’s always been the problem, right?

It might not be…the right time.
I might not be…the right one.
But there’s something about us I want to say.
Cuz there’s something between us anyway.

I might not be…the right one.
It might not be…the right time.
But there’s something about us I’ve got to do.
Some kind of secret I will share with you.