Echo

I told the german guy, I like germans because they’re efficient and methodical. They’re robots. And Asians are the computers, the CPUs. We need your engineering and our minds to take this world to the next level.

He asked, are you telling me you’re a CPU?

I’m an SSD, I told him.

Smell. That’s another way I’m doing it. I can feel when someone’s body temperature spikes around me. But I can also smell when there’s compatibility. They’ll smell familiar, like my own skin.

I am unsure here, because in that one kiss, even though it was a good one, I could tell he was a man about control. Not saying he’s not capable with control, he seemed thoroughly competent judging by his build and hands. But control often comes with a lining of cruelty, and that’s something I know I am to avoid. I can not survive in those ambiguities.

And yet another ambiguity I’m in. I’m learning to breath in a state of ambivalence. I’m learning to deal with the gray. prey

You see a mean dog sleepin’, you go pesterin’?

Mountain View has the highest density of white guy with asian wife with beautiful mixed kids I’ve ever seen.

Engineer #1 I give 1.5 weeks before he responds. He’ll have to. Our conversation’s not over.

Engineer #2 If the number I gave him was correct, if I don’t hear from him by tomorrow I won’t.

I’m always at my most magnetic around the full moon.

I can’t hold it against a guy that he kisses like a douchebag I once knew but it is a red flag because it still is an indicator of nature and personality. Just like a guy with immature hands. Hands say so much about a man. So do his lips.

I think I’m more interested in people than I am in experiences. I’m interested in experiences that let me learn about people.

When I was talking to the German engineer, this other Asian girl (not the original creeper) dressed as a black fairy comes up, puts her hands on my face tenderly, then hugs me like we were separated after the Titanic sunk and she’s finally found me. Then she introduces me to her husband. When she leaves the guy asks me if I know her and I say no. Straight Asian girls just act weird around me sometimes.

9 years ago I told that douchebag Mike, I can get any guy I want. Now it’s happening, where I see a guy I wanna talk to and just by thinking about it without really trying, he’ll approach me. But yesterday was a lesson in, you may not always want what you get when you get what you want. You can’t be married to the results. And I know pretty quickly.

The married engineer told me to try everything. I’ve always been good at intuitively knowing good physical chemistry. But sometimes when I realize I can’t see a guy as my partner, I’ll drop my interest (because I don’t like to waste time) but if there’s chemistry there, I’ll battle with wanting to sleep with them once just to have tasted and my conscience of knowing that’s all I want.

That’s probably why so often I don’t get involved. Getting close to people stirs up very complicated feelings in me.

I was impressed though that I had just written about never liking someone and having him reciprocate, and it happened twice yesterday, of course being dressed as Lara Croft and having guns strapped to my legs helped. But made me wonder again, how much of this site is reflection and how much is programming my reality.

Jeez, life is teaching me lessons, but it’s lessons I need to learn. Found out about a by-invite-only Halloween party in Google territory. Talked my way in. Met a handsome German. I was gunning for him and he reciprocated. Physically, he’s a tease. And that made me realize, I can’t be with someone who holds back. I will walk away before I beg for it. I need security in knowing that stuff’s there when I want it. Don’t ever put me in a position where I feel I need to beg. I’ll walk away.

This asian chick is straight stalking me at a party.

He asks me to dance but he’d told me he was a ballroom instructor and I didn’t feel like dancing. He puts on his mask. It’s the devil. He says, If I’d wanted to meet girls, I would have worn something else. But tonight…I’m incognito…

First they get in my face to make eye contact, then no matter where I’m standing, they move right in front of me, shaking there ass subtly. Wtf. Creepers.

Why do Asian girls act so lezzie around me?

Was dressed as Lara Croft, guns and all, by myself watching Giants. Guy across the bar looks like Ron Livingston and I think, alright…I wouldn’t mind seeing what that’s about. But he had the hands of someone immature. He hadn’t really noticed me so I walked by, made sure his table got a look at my guns. Waited 3 minuted, then looked him in the eye and grinned. He tries to summons me and I’m like, I don’t get summoned. He asks if he can see my guns. This is all going according to plan right? Til he opens his mouth and he’s kind of a moron, talking about going to school “down south” (Santa Barbara) and he’s not even schmitty enough ro pull off the doucheyness. I excuse myself and go back to my corner, relieved. Then leave. So often, they were much cuter in your mind… Happy Halloween, Scorpio.

As promised…whenever you wanna eat off it. shirt says…

If You Want to Achieve Greatness
Stop Asking for Permission

The last time we had an election during a mercury retrograde was during the gore fiasco. I’m a little nervous.

All afternoon I’ve been wondering who took out my security camera and why.

Digital Reasoning session talking about how to differentiate the leading and lagging numbers.

It makes me wonder, how much of this site is reflection and how much is programming?