Echo

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10788476/

The police can do whatever they want.

Really, it’s the stress of feeling the weight of everything inside me with no outlet. It’s probably as much my own fault as anything else why I’ve been more cut off from the world and my friends and support network. There just always seems to be ambitions to fulfill, until you stop one day and ask yourself if ambition is the fuel which keeps you running away.

What is it that I’m refusing to face? It hasn’t gone unnoticed that I haven’t been blogging as much, though it’s not from lack of things to ponder and inner turmoil and observations. I can’t go through life without using my legs when I know full well that my legs are perfectly fine.

I had a dream the other night where I was walking through the door of a hospital to the world outside with someone who was guiding me, when my legs went rubbery and I couldn’t stand up. I was so scared that he would leave me there because I couldn’t walk and I wouldn’t be able to get outside. So I tried really hard to stand up but my legs had no strength in them, and I was terrified that he would see me and decide I was deadweight and leave me in there. It was imperative that I got outside. And when I finally did, I felt relieved at being free, but the place was dark and dirty.

I just need answers. But the answers demand that you risk everything before they reveal themselves to you. And everything just seems like a lot to potentially lose, but really, there’s no choice. You have to do whatever it takes to at least give yourself a chance to make the most out of your life.

you can tell a lot about a person by who they high dial.

i was surprised by my choice.

It never seems to make sense. How sometimes life can take you further and further away from who you are.

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/10929780/site/newsweek/

Really fuckin’ cool.

http://www.vgmerchandise.com/misc.html

Read it, then let’s form a support group because the world doesn’t make sense to me anymore.

This is how we roll.

Amusing article about Amsterdam

If wealth is measured by the amount of true love, compassion and generosity in a person’s life, some people die very poor, pathetic people.

Interesting Tidbits

I hope the one for the eyes works. I’ve been having trouble with my vision lately…for someone with supposedly 20/20 after having Lasik a few years ago, I’m finding that sometimes I can’t even recognize people who are standing a room’s length away. Reading the tiny print in English on signs when I was in China was hell. I’m spending way too much time in front of a computer.

1st Post of 2006

I’ve been putting off this post, back when it was titled Last Post of 2005, for whatever reason my conscious mind can’t wrap around, or rather, too many reasons tangled into a maddening little knot to make any sense of. 2005 was a year that went by in such a blur, it made me realize the speed in which our lives are carried by the currents, and the urgency in which we have to taste the colors and textures and energies around us so that life has not been wasted on us. It’s the first year where I considered aging as a reality rather than an abstract, and wondered who I would be years from now, and how I would reflect upon who I was and what I had stood for. One thing that marked 2005 was a newfound thankfulness for the blessings a person encounters when he or she keeps themselves open by stepping out of the now and appreciating everything that is alive and present…from the warmth of a good friend’s smile, to the sound of the night when it whispers its secrets to itself in the darkness. Even surfing through blogs and reading the truths of hundreds of strangers who have the courage to reveal their life stories and thoughts and most vulnerable fiber in hopes that within their echoing into the dimensions of the universe, someone or something may echo back. Every person’s personal battles and ways of sorting through the confusion of life and existing is an inspiration to those who dare to wonder what it is we’re supposed to be doing, and it makes me think that throughout all of our collective stumbling, on some higher level, we’re all on the right track.

There are times when I’m engaged in a conversation with friends, and I look around and feel a deep sense of appreciation for the goodness that glows from within the people in my life. No matter what their daily masks, my friends are intelligent, witty, kind and sincere, and have a driving curiosity that expands their horizons and the horizons of those around them. They are people who make those around them better people, just by their willingness to share in the experience of life and grow. I know a lot of people look at their friends and think, I’ve got a great set of friends, and I think that’s not just the right way, but the only way. So often we let people into our lives who don’t wish us the best or want us to grow, or who don’t want us to achieve our full potential. But when you surround yourself with people who help you expand or even give you the seemingly little things at the most precise times like a needed laugh or kindly hug when you most need it, it makes all the difference in the world. And I just don’t think people tell each other often enough or sufficiently enough that they’re appreciated, so all of you who are in my life, the Michigan gang, the UCLA gang, the husband, the wife, the Hooch and the Nanny, the kids in the Midwest and the kids in the East, the artists, the rebels and the kids addicted to suits, the kids I haven’t talked to in years and the kids I see every day, even the strangers I know only from your generosity in sharing your stories and thoughts on the internet, every single one of you under this blanketing sky…I think about all of you probably more often than you might think…and I want you all to know that I’m grateful for your existence and your truth to yourselves, and I hope you all have a wonderful 2006.

Oh Katie!!

Excerpt from Hot Gossip in the Entertainment section of MSN today:

The PDA- and PR-loving pair shook off the chill on Friday, when they landed in Miami to spend some time with Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, who costarred with Cruise in “Collateral.”

Once again, People has all the details, reporting that the foursome enjoyed dinner together Friday night before hitting a South Beach hotspot, where they hung out into the wee hours as Holmes “kept her arms around” Cruise and hugged him from behind as they exited (a patented and much-photographed move we like to call the “rear Katie”).

*********************

The Rear Katie: When you pay a woman $5million+ over 5 years and artificially inseminate her in the name of martians-fearing pseudo-religion in a desperate attempt to mask your flagrant homosexuality, then have her cling to you like a PR-oozing backpack in public for gratuitous photo ops.

Not to be confused with:

The Rusty Trombone: The act of performing anal cunnilingus while reaching up above the testicles to manually administer quick up and down motions to the penile shaft, resulting in a violent yet pleasant explosion.

I’ve been tossing and turning for 8 nights straight. There’s something in the peripheral of my mind that I can’t quite convince to materialize…some memory…some taste of the past…I’ve been pretending not to be watching it in hopes it’ll step out of the shadows…but it just glides seamlessly around the edges…old songs on the radio just flare up that itch. Why are we born into a web of logic that doesn’t allow us to see our accumulated pasts? I bet it’s something simple, like the abrupt smell of an infant morning in some distant life when I woke up to find that for a one ephemeral second, everything suddenly made sense.

After finishing a nice Toni Kukoc inbound alley-oop, Bucks forward Andrew Bogut got help celebrating his winning shot from Jermaine Jackson, left, Mo Williams and Jiri Welsch. The Bucks beat the Spurs, 109-107, in overtime.

Did anyone see this game? Bogut was AWESOME. He also had a flop under the basket that gave Duncan a phantom foul that was worthy of a Ginobili.

Interesting subject but what the hell is this essay about? The guy’s conclusions and reasoning are idiotic, unfocused, unsupported and unprofessionally personal.

“The impact on the narcissistic Black ego that has used the white woman (instead of God) to compensate for his underlying feelings of inadequacy is to increase his sense of rejection and associated rage.”

Instead of God? Is this really objective discourse?

For the white woman, possession of the Black man subconsciously serves to commemorate the defeat of the white man’s mortal enemy. The object of her true love and desire is the white man. Once the Black man submits to her she sees him as weaker than the white man, who will never submit to her. At this point she taunts the Black man with the white man.

Look on myspace. The stereotypical “white girls who love black guys” (outside of a healthy appreciation of their attractiveness or a desire for adult compatibility) are the ones who have low self-esteem, take provocative pictures flaunting a forced promiscuity and a desperate need to be desired by men who symbolize ultimate masculinity who will either debase them or be “tamed” by the girl’s desirability. They have no sense of empowerment whatsoever that would allow them to recognize a man submitting to her, nor any way to truly obtain that sort of power balance, giving away any power or respect they might be able to obtain. These girls are not respected and are regarded as whores by the black guys they chase (Exhibit A: One black college basketball player on Myspace who had plenty of said girls commenting on his website claimed his hobbies were–basketball, fucking, finding out why white chicks love that black dick). Another reason a woman who is more empowered but seeks out black men solely because they are black men is that she is looking for a higher level of masculinity due to disappointment with her perceived impotence of white men (ie their fathers). There can be many theories or arguments made, but I really don’t think white woman chase black men in an effort to prove they are weaker than white men, or to show their superiority. I think when a white girl chases black men for something beyond appreciating them or having individual compatibility with someone who happens to be black reveals more the insecurities and psychological flaws of the the white woman than a perceived weakness in the black man.

Regardless, poorly written essay. How the hell does this guy have a PhD?

Courtesy of the Magnificent Lengli:

Google the phrase “(Your name) looks like” and find the best one from the first page of results. Don’t forget to put it in quotes, otherwise it won’t work. Add yours to the bottom of the list and repost this.

1. Paul looks like hed be at home at an Upper East Side yuppie bar.
2. Rhonda looks like she has a sore ass too.
3. JP looks like the last five minutes of a porno flick–one big blur.
4. Billy looks like he should be on a skateboard, but instead he’s in the basement stuffing recycled, shredded paper into plastic bags that fill endless boxes of Worm-A-Roos awaiting shipment (the paper goes to the worms, too).
5. Although Howie looks like a square, he knows the language of the streets and regularly delivers homeboy come-ons.
5. Nick looks like he’s been hangin’ with Tara Reid or something. He is a geekwad.
7. Spencer looks like the lead character in the musical play “Springtime for the Caliphate.”
8. Sylvia looks like shes trying to emulate Angela from My So Called Life9.Chad looks like a cross between a beaten up Michael Bolton and Twisted Sister’s Dee Snider on a bad day.
10. Sandie, looks like you have been elevated to Impressive Mortal.
11. Val looks like she just seen My massive man stick. *(copied directly, do not hold me accountable for shoddy grammar)
12. Christine looks like a demented vampire about to feed.
13. [Queen] Bess looks like a hotel bar, with its entrance similar to the downtown, city hotels seen in numerous Hollywood movies, but once inside you’ll soon see there are no lobbies, grand staircases and grouchy concierges to deal with.
14. erika-erika looks like a good potential binibining pilipinas candidate and contenderfor the miss universe crown.
15. Sarah looks like a jockey in training with a Prince Valiant haircut.::::Attention::::The following two quotes clearly explain my dichotomy-b.
16a. Brian looks like a ghost of his former selfashen-faced and hollow-eyed, with the huge metal brace that holds his shattered pelvis together sticking out of his battered body like a pair of handlebars.
16b. brian looks like something straight out of medieval times. all he needs is some tights, a white horse, a floppy hat with a feather, a trumpet, and should start every comment with “hear ye, hear ye”::::Attention::::mine too-M.
17a. Little Matthew looks like an angel (and, from the hospital photo, like he has giant hands).
17b. Matthew looks like a total douche.
18. Stephanie looks like Jose Canseco…luckily for me that’s NOT TRUE!!! I’m much more buff than that guy.
19…. Well, I know someone that is cuter Don’t know what’s Pablo looks like, buthe can’t be prettier, no cause it’s impossible. novalee. …
20- nicole looks like your grandma
21 – Johnny looks like a nice verison of Anna Wintour in drag
22-what i need is to know if people think that Helen looks like a fish so she will stop thinking she is good looking.
23 janet looks like shes about to do something very naughty with the sparkler
24. Lauren looks like she’s heard about smiling but isn’t sure of the technique
25. Sean looks like the olympic representative from the planet of the apes.
26a.- “the sexual appeal in doing a black man is uuuuugh, Mr. Pete looks like a chimp when he fucks”
26b.- John looks like he’s doing a dopey dance, Keith looks like he’s doing one too, and Pete looks like a woman.
27 — I look like im ready to kill and caty looks like “COOL ITS A GUN!”
28. Emily looks like trouble.
29. Zack looks like a younger, tougher Brad Pitt who’s spent a couple nights sleeping behind a dumpster.
30. Samantha looks like she’s auditioning for a role as a porn star, or at least as a hooker who just stepped off the Greyhound bus in NYC and needs to raise fast cash quickie pronto.
31. Jamie, looks like some superhero whose name I can’t recallat the moment.
32. Ember looks like sleeping roadkill (she sleeps all flat out on her side or back like she’s dead) so I better Go bug her!
33. Lauren looks like the love child of everything that scared the shit out of me when I was ten; ventriloquist dummies, witches, bees, and the movie, Troll.
34. Julia looks like she’s ready to go home. Yelena fondles the trophy as Mark beams and Corin checks his camera.

Your moment of zen…

Or…whatever is the furthest point away from zen.

J & R’s Mint Lemonade Can Now Be Found At:

Buzz Coffee
7623 Beverly Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90036

Brew N’ Beans
11150 Santa Monica Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90025

Please stop by either of these two locations if you’re in the area and ask for J&R’s Mint Lemonade!!

Thank you for your support. :)

He looks like he would have been more appropriately dressed had he complemented his outfit with tan argyle socks to match his shoes. That white on brown ensemble just makes him look gaudy.