Echo

reality as we believe it is a machination of temporary suspension. when you wake, the circumference of the world is swallowed in a dream, and now you are someone else. But perhaps that someone else is more you than you used to be, in your life before it was dream.

Interesting article on assisted suicide in Switzerland. Particularly the quote about how people don’t say they want to die, but that they don’t want to live THIS life any more. The perspective of the dying says much about the true nature of living. There’s living, and then there’s living in THIS life. To me, the distinction is between an entity with consciousness and a temporary state.

for the forest wanderer it is the silence that awakens the trees,
when voices become too distant to bear.

a conceptual epitome

never compete for who can ache harder with someone who’s determined to win.

sometimes it is through darkness that we present light.

When random things synchronize in my life, I follow them through. Worked with a new trainer in Seattle, and I remember when he first sent an email, I experienced a strange time loop, where I didn’t know who it was from, but I knew that I had gotten an email from this address before. Except I hadn’t. It was experiencing the future as the past. I noticed he had a quote in his signature from Antoine de Saint Exupery, author of The Little Prince, from a book that had been sitting on my kitchen counter for weeks, but which I couldn’t compel myself to put away. I took this as a sign it was time to read the book.

People know I have an extensive database of natal charts–both people I know and those I am intrigued with (ie writers, actors, thinkers). The information helps me have a point of reference for understanding people and their inner workings, a way to give me a foundation to optimize my intuition when relating to people. I have worked with these symbols for so long, I have built an intimate and deeply personal relationship with them, same as a reader and their deck of tarot cards. I like to look up people’s information, then let it seep into me, so that when I interact with them, I am more able to understand their layers and polarities of personality, wants and needs, because in a way, having seen their symbols, I can now feel for them, have a better intuition for working with the holistic experience of them, and bringing out the highest potential of interaction. It is definitely not an analytical, thinking process anymore. It is definitely a background program that presents itself on a deep feeling level that takes place multi-dimensionally, tapping in.

I was intrigued by the syncs that occurred with his entrance into my life, parallels between his experience of leaping and mine, his spiritual journey and mine. In searching for his birthday to help me find a point of reference, I found his blog which is very well-written and reveals a fertile and intuitive being. I appreciate the questions he poses.

Blog here.

I’ve always noticed that I’m good at finding things, especially when they are meant to be found (incidentally, his blog even provided his time of birth, which allowed me to pull up an accurate chart, which was much appreciated). I understand some of the parallels. First of all, like me, and like Antoine de Saint Exupery, he’s a 9. The path of the prophet. Finding his writing inspires me. I hope he continues to ask these questions, to put his thoughts and ponderings out into the world. He has a pertinent voice.

Sales has been reorganized into 3-person teams, and everyone is moved into cubicles, whether or not they previously held an office. Each team is named after a basketball team, and I’m on the Suns. No one wanted to be the Warriors. But they are wrong. I spent my life being trained as a warrior despite my karma as a poet. In high school I was a Warrior and our collective heart in the bay area belongs to the Warriors. It was only through the wisdom of life I understood that on the other side of the Warrior coin is the Healer. The unifier. Of all that is without and all that is within. Of past present and future. I relish this side. But I never forgot what it means to be a Warrior.

Ask someone who has lived one lifetime as a warrior and another as a healer, and they will tell you that life is best lived with fierce passion and gentle fervor.

Who gets to be the Warriors? We are the warriors. Collectively. When all teams can compete to make each other better, but in competition create expansive generation, we will rise up together as a greater whole. Larry Ellison will likely buy the Warriors. He’s known for his single-minded approach to dominance. Can we build a better team than Larry Ellison? Can we become a billion-dollar company before Larry Ellison puts together a winning team?

Wrote mom an email:

Don’t think about things as being far away. Think of them is big and achievable. Once upon a time we thought of the moon as far away and impossible. But some people thought of it as close and attainable. And those were the ones who made it possible to land there.

It’s about thinking. What do you want to attain? Then we can do it not abstractly “some day” but in the reality of now.  And I can tell you now, it’s possible. This is what I talked to you about…belief. Do you actually BELIEVE you can be a billion dollar company? Then you would be willing to do EVERYTHING POSSIBLE to bring that idea into the here and now.

Success is never about what you hope and dream.

It is about what you dream and attain.

Are you committed or not?

She wrote back:

Yes, I believe we can become a billion dollar company!

I said:

Let’s go head-to-head with Larry.

My heart belongs to Machievelli. My judgment Sun Tzu. My soul, to the greater good.

Nothing changes destinies like believing in something and reaching it. Nothing makes a human greater. We are all in this miracle together. What matters is that we show up and compete.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

It’s the difference between those who were born, and those who were conceived. There have been anomalies with those who can find no person who can bear reliable witness to their exact moment of entry. In particular, identity, personality and power.

What matters is not how we got here. It’s about how we co-exist. There is nothing to talk about, why. We just are. In the field beyond wrongdoing and right, let’s just lay down and be full.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

What I’m saying is there are some good people who were born deceptive, you see? There is balance between us and this world. Believe in us, help us through. We are storms who can capture dreams. The sky by way of the sea. Deeper, deeper than you’ve ever imagined. Breathing, needing air.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Spontaneous dance break.

There are times when I’m so black, I think you would really enjoy meeting this me.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

wait til you see the tiger i bought in china that i’ll be unveiling for this new era. august, baby, here we come.

When a guy (or girl) worries what he/she has to offer you, the relationship is doomed before it starts. Remember, if someone doesn’t think they’re good enough for you, they aren’t. If you try to make it work, their insecurity will cut you down, rather than pushing you towards the best you can be. Before getting into a partnership, makes sure YOU feel that you have plenty to offer, and that you are confident in this. No one knows where things go and if things will work out, but you have to at least be confident in yourself that you are bringing strong things to the table, and you are fully prepared to put in an honest effort to make things work. The other side is to make sure the other person brings and is prepared for the same. Otherwise, you will be starting off compromised. This is valid for all relationships, personal and professional.

Given this global presence need of our company, they have been wanting to open up a satellite office in the Netherlands as a point of contact for European clients. We’ve already got offices in Asia and Canada. Europe is untapped.

“Do you think…” my mom began, then trailed off. She knows what a hard time I had out there. But I don’t have anything against Amsterdam. It’s a beautiful, vibrant city. What better candidate than someone who is motivated, has no attachments, and has already lived in the country?

“I would do it,” I said. “Give me time at headquarters to get acclimated and help set up our new direction and foundation, then I would be willing to go out there and set something up.”

Her dream is to run a billion-dollar company. My dream is to globalize myself through dream-achievement and have a reason to bounce around the world. Our aims are aligned. We each have the resources to help each other. It’s going to be interesting to see how the next 3 years unfold.

Was behind a purple PT Cruiser with a Decepticon sticker. If I had to choose I’m an Autobot, but keep in mind there’s only a fine line between light and darkness. What matters is intent–good or evil.

I fight for good but I stand with Machievelli. Knowledge makes you powerful, sometimes feared, but not necessarily evil.

I get more out of being mysterious than nice. I am too nice.

American Psycho is easily one of my favorite books.

I went and saw Bret Easton Ellis read tonight at the Elliott Bay Book Company. I’d last met him at a reading in college over 10 years ago. I believe he was promoting Glamorama. I thought he was super narcissistic. This time, he was different. Mellowed out. More open. It’s amazing what can go on inside a human hemisphere over 10 years.

The most interesting thing was he claimed his publishers had him put together a song list related to each of his books, in response to a question about what music he listened to that marked each book.

I couldn’t find it, but I did find this list:

http://www.viceland.com/blogs/en/2010/02/02/a-musical-journey-to-the-center-of-bret-easton-ellis/

The playlist is worth listening to, if only to get a sense for what moves the soul of the man behind American Psycho and Less Than Zero.

Well I believe there’s someone watching over you
They’re watching every single thing you say
And when you die
They’ll set you down and take you through
You’ll realise one day

That the grass is always greener on the other side
The neighbour’s got a new car that you wanna drive
And when time is running out you wanna stay alive
We all live under the same sky
We all will live, we all will die
There is no wrong, there is no right
The circle only has one side

We all try hard to live our lives in harmony
For fear of falling swiftly overboard
But life is both a major and minor key
Just open up the chord

But the grass is always greener on the other side
The neighbour’s got a new car that you wanna drive
And when time is running out you wanna stay alive
We all live under the same sky
We all will live, we all will die
There is no wrong, there is no right
The circle only has one side

-Travis, Side

I’m looking for a physical attraction that’s not born out of need, but of want.