Interview with a Porn Star
So I’m at work doing my usual random searching, when a Craig’s List ad under the Platonic section about being an imprisoned Porn Star’s pen pal led me to search the web out of curiosity regarding why he was imprisoned. Somehow, half an hour later, I stumbled upon this interview with a female porn star named Mila. All I know is either she’s a Porn PR machine, saying just the right nasty things that lonely middle-aged virgins with potbellies and clammy hands want to hear, or she’s flat-out disgusting.
Here was an excerpt that makes me want to throw my brain into the dishwasher:
(A= Interviewer, M= This Nasty Ass Bitch, B= Her Manager)
A: Ever have any sexual partners that couldn’t handle what you were doing?
M: Well yeah, of course. I mean, some women don’t like being fisted in their asses, but I do.
A: I mean, anyone ever just go “Fuck! Stop!! I can’t take it” and just get up and leave?
M: Not like that, because that wouldn’t be professional. Instead of just getting up and leaving, they sit there with my foot up their ass and start crying. After I get my elbow out of their pussy they are usually a little better off and they relax a bit.
[I don’t know whether to laugh or cry]
A: Considering all the stuff you’ve had up your ass, do you find that having a bowel movement comes easier?
B: Dude… she was swimming in my pool the other day… when she dove in the pool, she dropped her day planner from her ass. It was from 1979. She thought it was lost forever!
M: No, my bowel movements are normal just like everyone else. Only difference is some of the things I find from like last week.
B: Speaking of bowel movements, we need to cut out that pop where the new girl accidentally dripped poop on your face.
M: That bitch shit in my mouth! I almost kicked her ass down the street!
B: It was an accident.
A: I need to hear details about this one…
B: She never heard of an enema. She’s Russian, fresh off the train.
A: It actually went IN your mouth?
M: Right in my mouth! I was like “Noooo!” and then next thing I know, I’m pinned down by Dave fuckin’ Hardman and a clump of shit and cum is smacking my face!
B: She did her first dp, and did not prepare. So, we had a mess, and the Queen took it like a champ.
M: The cum was okay, but the shit… well, you know I have to draw the line there.
*****
The moral of the story? At least there’s a line, kids. At least there’s a line…