2011 February

that he would have an acute fear reaction because I’m the right girl for him, and I would have an acute fear reaction because he’s the wrong guy for me.

I said, “He’s so selfish” under my breath as Dev took the ball all by himself instead of passing again.

Jerry somehow heard me, turned and smiled, saying, “Hey, that’s the way the world is.”

I worried that I’d said it louder than I thought. But then again, it was true.

throughout this, the thing that’s consistent amongst italian men i’ve met, is that every one of them claims that while other italian men can be dogs, they’re the one honest, faithful, loyal one. every one of them.

2/12/2011

a 9 day made up of three sets of 21 3’s.

in the city of 3.

to celebrate at the triple door.

triple being the perfect 9 made up of infinite prisms of 3.

my favorite place in seattle.

i want to be struck by creative lightning.

i need my own shift in perception. i want to be awed.

who is the blue man with olive skin?

wherever you are, i’m going to be surprised.

i’m going to need you to make a stand. somewhere.

i need proof.

the trick with ryan reynolds is that he would have to recognize me first.

another head aches. another heart breaks. i’m so much older than i can take. and my affections, well it comes and goes i need direction to perfection no no no no help me out, you know you’ve gotta help me out, oh don’t you put me on the backburner, you know you gotta help me out…

maybe i would have fought harder if i hadn’t been feeling may?

maybe it doesn’t matter.

timeline not only preserved but confirmed by silvana today. may. i would ask you to meet me, but since last time, i just try to play it by ear and not get too crazy over things that seem to add up.

Did he really need me to be psychic just so he could pass off the biggest lie of them all?

Would it really come down to that?

God, what a bummer. I know, in the long run, whoever is coming up will be awesome, but I just don’t understand why people do the things they do sometimes.

Relationship tip of the day:

You don’t have to let him win, but you have to let him not lose, whether that be with an action or an inaction.
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He’s so busy being focused on how other people take advantage of him, he hella takes advantage of other people.
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In china, alpha males carry designer purses.
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Everyone knows why I came back here. When I go back to LA, I’m taking one of you with me. But I only want to take the person I’m looking for.
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How well you protect your hopes and dreams will determine your quality of life. Never hang your hopes and dreams on others who can not or will not take care of them, or those who can’t even take care of there own.
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His sense of timing is tragic.
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That stupid, stupid man. Why didn’t he end things in August.
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Stickers, coke, fever tree brand soda water.
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You can either raise me up or drag me down, and right now, I don’t trust you enough to deal with either.
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You know who I hang around most now? A Vietnamese gang member.

Niiiice.
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I wrote it out and showed it to Brian. I wondered if this couple has slept together.

Are you listening to me?, she asked the guy.

He nods but he’s distracted.
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Girl at next table just said, I kind of have an idea of how big it is…
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