Echo

the experience of me ranges between loving, humbling and haunting. where would you like to be?

he gets a text from her.

do you want to share a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

at first he doesn’t know what she means, and then he kind of likes that he doesn’t know what she means.

meanwhile, she is waiting, wondering which of the prophecy would come true. were they doomed to someday fight to the death, or would they share a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

imagine meeting a girl, and realizing…she would always know. she looks at you and she can read your truth and your lies like an open book.

imagine if you overcame your terror and realized what a relief it could be.

this song is how i feel…

Jean says to me today that all information and gossip is with me now, and why I would want to carry all this.

Weren’t you the one who always said being the boss means knowing everything that’s really going on around you?, I ask.
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Media and marijuana are tools of my communication.
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May 11th. I’m going to be in Vegas. Yeah? Are we gonna make this happen? I’ll do my best to show up. You work on not disappointing me.

If you need to ask me who told me, it means you told too many people. If you want to leave, then leave, but if you stay, stop acting like this place isn’t taking care of you and giving you a fair opportunity to be a man and provide for your family.
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I have the potential to not be afraid to stand up to anyone. That is why it’s so important for me to be intelligent.
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sometimes i wonder which has terrified my father more…that his daughter is a lover or a fighter.

He’s leaving at a time when things go wrong.
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once connected, i can get into their minds, touch it, taste it. how can you stop yourself from thinking about me? calling you out, a force from far “out there,” a giant echo from the deepest place inside you. i will haunt you. if you regret with me.

Loneliness is the price that’s paid to be alone, by people who never met anyone they liked being with more than themselves.
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She made me feel like she was having a conversation with someone else through me. That was really unnerving.
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You can tell my capacity for love by how I step aside and let people I love make their own decisions, and supporting them.
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76 oak grove- club 76
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Two guys independent of each other and about 30 seconds apart made jokes about putting roofies in my drink
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Did he make the wrong decision for himself? Did he make the right decision for the bigger picture? Is it possible he did both? If so, is it a conscious or unconscious sacrifice?
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I go to Santana Rd and run into my cousin who’s a fixture there. He’s got some dumb girl grinding up on him, and giant Norman and I creep up with our ears to listen to their conversation. We’re fucking with her because we don’t care about her, but she takes it because she thinks her life is gonna change if she fucks my cousin.

I run into this girl Ashley. I’ve known her since she was a toddler. Her dad, Whiskey, started coming out to play basketball at the open gym with the girls I play with, and the dude’s intense, barreling into girls and yelling at them when they make mistakes. It’s kind of funny but sad. I heard he and his wife got separated. He must have cheated, I immediately said and got yelled to not make assumptions. But the dude’s name is Whiskey. If the family broke up, I would put money down he did something. So I haven’t seen Ash in years, but now she’s a girl-woman, all perky and fierce and independent and broken. You’ve probably heard some things about my parents, she said. Lots of rumors out there. I tell her I heard something but didn’t really pay attention. And that I play basketball with her old man.

I bet he doesn’t even recognize you, she said. Does he? He wouldn’t.

I tell her that he must know who I am. I’m pretty sure someone’s told him my name.

He doesn’t recognize you, she said. It’s your massive presence now. He doesn’t know who you are.”

I tell her I remember her as a kid. How confident she was. You just did whatever you wanted, I said.

Just like someone else we know, she said.

Who?

You, she said. You always did whatever you wanted. We’re a lot a like.

She proceeded to dance seductively for some boys, and I left to give her space. She’s a strong girl. She’s a storm, the kind of girl who can put a boy in jail, but smart enough to corral that power if she can stay away from the big mistakes that spell endgame.

They wanted to hit the next bar while Ditty by Paperboy was playing. I wanted to dance but some guy grabbed me and I didn’t like it, so I left. Next place was filled with hapless white guys and hookers. So I headed for Hotel Valencia in search of a couch to lounge on.

The couches looked empty when I first walked in which made me ecstatic, but a few steps later as I rounded the corner, I saw there were two guys sitting there. They smiled when they saw me. I decided to suck it up and deal with the situation, since I wanted to sit on the couch. Ordered an Effen Cherry Vodka and soda. Went over and sat down next to them. They seemed pretty shocked but happy. Learned that one, Marcel, is a French-Italian transplant turned firefighter, and Michael is a Scottish software engineer and photography artist. Had a great time talking to them. They both have girlfriends so once that was out of the way, we just talked like three happy people. They asked me if I was a cop, because of my  build and my air of authority and confidence. I told them that’s funny because usually it’s Canadians who think I’m a cop. They like that I break the mold of someone working in tech. I like that they’re friendly and we’re having a no bullshit good time. I tell them that I just moved to the area and had just started exploring.

They recommend Los Gatos and plan out a Sat night itinerary for me. Tell me I have to hit #1 Broadway last, as it’s all cougars and young guys, and their mating rituals need to be witnessed.

Sat night itinerary

Wine Cellar
CB hannigans
Black watch
Los Gatos bar and grill
#1 broadway
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