None of these guys are available. I’ve gotta keep living my life until I bump into one that is.

Whenever I go to trade shows, something always happens that offends me. Usually involving a married guy.

Dealbreakers:

1. Drives a Corvette
2. Favorite Band is Counting Crows
3. Is Italian (Brian added that. He said, “Cuz they will definitely cheat on you.”)
4. Is married.

Yeah, seriously. That last one should be obvious.